Registered: Aug 2008
Location: North GA.
Posts: 1226

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as mustang.
He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can rea...lly shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.
“You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"

I LOVE TEXAS

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Registered: Aug 2008
Location: North GA.
Posts: 1226

How come these things never start out 'A gal walks into a bar.' Anyway, this one is in Louisiana , and the guy is startled to see a robot bartender. Nobody in the bar is acting like anything unusual is going on, so he decides to 'go with the flow' and orders a whiskey. The robot brings him his drink and then asks him what his IQ is. The guy says, '168.' The robot then proceeds to chat him up about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

Being really smart, th...e guy is fascinated and curious, so he leaves the bar but then walks right back in and orders another whiskey. Once again the robot bartender asks about his IQ. This time the guy replies, '100.' The robot then engages him in conversation about NASCAR, Bud vs. Bud Light, the Saints and the LSU Tigers.

The guy decides to try it one more time. He leaves the bar, walks back in again, and when the robot asks about his IQ he replies, 'Uhhhhh......'bout 50.'

The robot leans in real close and says, "You....people....still....happy....with....Obama?"

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English Hound
Dexter (Timber Cutter X Cedar Creek Bee)

Bluetick Hound
Liz (Davis Creek So Blue Slug x Watsons Smoky Mtn Blue Zip)

Gone but never forgotten
Briar (Andersons Screaming Blue Zues X Triple D All Grand Puddles)
Blue (Thunder St. Nick X Fosters Little Frosty)

Proudly use and sale
Nite Rider Hollow Lights

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Registered: Jun 2006
Location: Newton, North Carolina
Posts: 12262

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility. And I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down
HAVE A NICE DAY!

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