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Rex Ridge
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Nov 2015
Location:
Posts: 2941

😄

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Old Post 07-30-2019 05:02 AM
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Driftwoodblue
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2011
Location: Emporia, Kansas
Posts: 372

My cousin just called and asked if I would loan her $300.00 to help her pay her rent. Those who know me, know that I'm always willing to help out friends and family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I called her back, my aunt called and told me that my cousin was lying and not to give her the money. She goes on to say that the real reason my cousin wanted the $300.00 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday 🎂. I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the $300.00 because we all need help at times. So, I called my cousin and told her to come and get the money. A couple of hours later, I get a call from the Seminole County jail. It was my cousin crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money. My response...so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday! 🤣

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Old Post 08-22-2019 01:13 AM
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Driftwoodblue
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2011
Location: Emporia, Kansas
Posts: 372

My cousin just called and asked if I would loan her $300.00 to help her pay her rent. Those who know me, know that I'm always willing to help out friends and family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I called her back, my aunt called and told me that my cousin was lying and not to give her the money. She goes on to say that the real reason my cousin wanted the $300.00 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday 🎂. I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the $300.00 because we all need help at times. So, I called my cousin and told her to come and get the money. A couple of hours later, I get a call from the Seminole County jail. It was my cousin crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money. My response...so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday! 🤣

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Old Post 08-22-2019 01:13 AM
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shadinc
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Jun 2014
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 3363

I sure am glad I learned about parallelograms in high school math instead of how to do my taxes. It is so useful in parallelogram season.

__________________
Donald Bergeron

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Old Post 09-10-2019 09:37 PM
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Redneck Mafia
UKC Moderator

Registered: Aug 2013
Location: Seneca, Mo
Posts: 5822

PEARLS OF WISDOM



Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.


If women are upset at Trump’s naughty words, who in the hell bought 80 million copies of 50 Shades of Gray?


Jim Comey answered, “I don’t know,” “I don’t recall,” and “I don’t remember” 236 times while under oath. But he remembered enough to write a book.

President Trump should nominate Hillary Clinton for the next opening on the supreme court. Then he can finally get her investigat

Not one feminist has defended Sarah Sanders. It seems women’s rights only matter if those women are liberal.



No Border Walls. No voter ID laws. You figured it out yet?

Chelsea Clinton got out of college and got a job at NBC that paid $900,000 per year. Her mom flies around the country speaking out about white privilege._

SOCIALISM: An idea that is so good that it has to be mandatory.


Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells... “Free drinks for everyone!” looks around and says “Who’s buying?”


What is the difference between an Illegal immigrant and E.T.? E.T. learned to speak English and went home.


And just like that they went from being against foreign interference in our elections to allowing non-citizens to vote in our elections.


Watching the left come up with schemes to “catch Trump” is like watching Wile E. Coyote trying to catch Road Runner.


President Trump’s wall cost less than the Obamacare website. Let that sink in, America.


We are one election away from open borders, socialism, gun confiscation, and full term abortion nationally. We are fighting evil.


They sent more troops and armament to arrest Roger Stone than they sent to defend Benghazi.


60 years ago, Venezuela was 4th on the world economic freedom index. Today, they are 179th and their citizens are dying of starvation. In only 10 years, Venezuela was destroyed by democratic socialism.


Russia donated $0.00 to the Trump campaign. Russia donated $145,600,000 to the Clinton Foundation. But Trump was the one investigated!


Nancy Pelosi invited illegal aliens to the State of the Union. President Trump Invited victims of illegal aliens to the State of the Union. Let that sink in.


A socialist is basically a communist who doesn’t have the power to take everything from their citizens at gunpoint.


How do you walk 3000 miles across Mexico without food or support and show up at our border 100 pounds overweight and with a cellphone?


Alexandria Ocasio Cortez wants to ban cars, ban planes, give out universal income and thinks socialism works. She calls Donald Trump crazy.


Bill Clinton paid $850,000 to Paula Jones To get her to go away. I don’t remember the FBI raiding his lawyer’s office.


The same media that told me Hillary Clinton had a 95% chance of winning now tells me Trump’s approval ratings are low.


“The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”— Margaret Thatcher


Maxine Waters opposes voter ID laws; She thinks that they are racist. You need to have a photo ID to attend her town hall meetings.


Trump — They’re not after me. They’re after you. I’m just in their way.


A new one: only at the US and Mexico border, do illegals climb/crawl under the fence to get into the what AOC calls “concentration camps”.


God Bless America and the U.S. Marine Corps

__________________
Cheyenne & Jennifer Cummings
Seneca , MO
(417)317-4815
"TEAM MAFIA"
*NATIONAL GRNITECH GRCH GRNITECH(5) HALL OF FAME PKC PLATIUM CH REDNECK BACKWOODS SHACK
2014 OK STATE CH, 2015 MO PKC LEADER, 2016 PKC NATIONALS SEMIFINALIST, 2016 UKC TOP 20, 2O17 UKC WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 3RD PLACE, 2018 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4, 2018 MO PKC STATE CHAMPION, 2019 AUTUMN OAKS NATIONAL GRNITE CH, 2019 PKC WORLD CH SEMIFINALIST. 2021 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4.
*PKC WORLD CHAMPION PLATNIUM CHAMPION GRNITECH SHACK'S HEATHER ISLAND SOUTHERN STOGIE
2021 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2022 PKC WORLD CHAMPION, 2022 MO PKC STATE LEADER

RIP
*GRNITECH PKC SCH REDNECK MAFIA PKC HALL OF FAME REPRODUCER INDUCTED 2022
*GRNITECH CH PKC SILVER CH REDNECK SHACK ATTACK aka TAC 2018 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2020 MO PKC STATE LEADER

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Old Post 09-16-2019 05:56 AM
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Cowboyred
UKC Forum Member

Registered: May 2010
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 350

Marriage and cards

Marriage is like a brand new deck of playing cards, it starts out all hearts and diamonds then turns to clubs and spades.

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Old Post 09-23-2019 11:22 PM
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Slough
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: S. Ga.
Posts: 4608

A man owned a small ranch near Great Falls, Montana. The Montana Labor Department got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an investigator out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the investigator.

"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1200 a week plus free room and board."

"The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $1000 per week plus free room and board."

"Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day, with no days off, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week and pays his own room and board."

"But, I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to... the half-wit," says the investigator.

"You're talking to him," replied the rancher.

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

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Old Post 09-24-2019 04:31 PM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

Once in a nice bar a sultry woman came up to the bar and asked to see the manager.
The bartender said he's not here and in his absence I serve as manager. How can I help you. The woman slid onto a stool and leaned in and the bartender leaned in also.
She ran her fingers through his hair and curled them around his face. Then she touched his lips and he loved it.
She said tell the manager there is no soap or toilet paper in the restroom.

__________________
Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

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Old Post 12-06-2019 02:03 AM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

Little old man went to the Dr. He said his ear was stopped up and he coildn't hear out of it.
Dr looked and said I see it. Why that looks like a suppository.
Old man said well I guess I know where my hearing aid is.

__________________
Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

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Old Post 12-06-2019 02:07 AM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! “I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”
“I don’t want to talk to you, the old woman says. “You are no longer my son!”
“I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”
“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!”
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”
The gift of humor for your Christmas.

__________________
Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

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Old Post 12-24-2019 10:12 PM
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Redneck Mafia
UKC Moderator

Registered: Aug 2013
Location: Seneca, Mo
Posts: 5822

The ranch hand

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand


Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk._

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town Saturday night.

One o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the house, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.


She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said._
Trembling, he did as she directed._

"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.


Then she looked deep into his eyes and said, "If you EVER wear my clothes into town again, you're fired"

(P.S. - I didn't see it coming either)

__________________
Cheyenne & Jennifer Cummings
Seneca , MO
(417)317-4815
"TEAM MAFIA"
*NATIONAL GRNITECH GRCH GRNITECH(5) HALL OF FAME PKC PLATIUM CH REDNECK BACKWOODS SHACK
2014 OK STATE CH, 2015 MO PKC LEADER, 2016 PKC NATIONALS SEMIFINALIST, 2016 UKC TOP 20, 2O17 UKC WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 3RD PLACE, 2018 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4, 2018 MO PKC STATE CHAMPION, 2019 AUTUMN OAKS NATIONAL GRNITE CH, 2019 PKC WORLD CH SEMIFINALIST. 2021 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4.
*PKC WORLD CHAMPION PLATNIUM CHAMPION GRNITECH SHACK'S HEATHER ISLAND SOUTHERN STOGIE
2021 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2022 PKC WORLD CHAMPION, 2022 MO PKC STATE LEADER

RIP
*GRNITECH PKC SCH REDNECK MAFIA PKC HALL OF FAME REPRODUCER INDUCTED 2022
*GRNITECH CH PKC SILVER CH REDNECK SHACK ATTACK aka TAC 2018 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2020 MO PKC STATE LEADER

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Old Post 02-12-2020 05:03 PM
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benderb4
Banned

Registered: Dec 2019
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 1058

MY DADDY SLEEPS NAKED
"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Robbie.
"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"
Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Robbie what he meant by that.
Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Robbie and trouble were old friends but he always told the truth.
"You see, Miss Russell, out at the farm we got this here low down fox. The last few nights, he done ate six hens. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his double barreled shot gun and said to my Ma, "That fox is back again... I'm a gonna git him!''
"Stay back," Daddy whispered to all us kids!
"My Daddy was naked as a jaybird -- no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double-barrelled 12-gauge shotgun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with a fox on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy's crack!"
"Miss Russell, we all been pluckin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin!"

__________________
NOW THE LUNATICS ARE RUNNING THE ASYLUM IN WASHINGTON,DC.
MY SILENCE DOES NOT MEAN I AGREE WITH YOU...IT MEANS YOUR LEVEL OF STUPIDITY RENDERS ME SPEECHLESS
I AM NOT ARGUING WITH YOU..I AM JUST TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHY I AM RIGHT
TRUTH IS TREASON IN AN EMPIRE OF LIES...G. Orwell
DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING THE GOVERNMENT TELLS YOU...G. Carlin
ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE WORK RELENTLESSLY TO CENSOR THOSE WHO SPEAK THE TRUTH...Ron DeSantis

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Old Post 02-13-2020 01:35 AM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

This woman died and was standing at the pearly gates,
St. Peter was guarding the gate and she asked if she could come in. St Peter told her that she have to spell a word to be able to come. She said OK, what's the word. St. Peter said spell LOVE. she spelled LOVE and he opened the gate and she went in. St. Peter asked her if she could guard the gate as he had to leave for a little while. She said yes and he left. A short while her X husband came to the gate. He said "never expected to see you here, let me in." She told him he would have to spell a word to come in. He said "no problem" she replied ok spell ".Czechoslovakia,"

__________________
Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

Last edited by Bob Hennessey on 03-27-2020 at 05:00 PM

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Old Post 02-13-2020 08:49 PM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

An assistant to Nancy Pelosi told her she had a fantastic dream last
night. There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating
Pelosi. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Nancy went
past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the
air; there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest celebration
Washington had ever seen.

Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way,
how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"

Her assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."

__________________
Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

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Old Post 02-28-2020 04:02 PM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

THE 2020 DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION SCHEDULE

MONDAY JULY 20, 2020

1:30 PM

FREE LUNCH, FREE MEDICAL MARIJUANA, AND A FREE BUS RIDE TO THE CONVENTION.
FOOD STAMP ENROLLMENT FORMS AVAILABLE.

2:00 PM

GROUP VOTER REGISTRATION FOR UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS AND ANY DECEASED CITIZENS.

2:30 PM
OPENING FLAG BURNING CEREMONY
SPONSORED BY CNN DON LEMON

3:00 PM
WELCOMING SPEECH BY GRETA THUNBERG AND INTRODUCTION OF AL GORE WHO WILL SPEAK ON WHAT WE ALL, AS RESPONSIBLE CITIZENS CAN DO TO REVERSE GLOBAL WARMING.

3:45 - 3:50 pm
TRUTH AND HONESTY AS IT APPLIES TO ELECTED OFFICIALS
ADAM SCHIFF, ASSISTED BY JERRY NADLER AND NANCY PELOSI

4:00 PM
ADDRESS ON "BEING THE REAL YOU"
RACHEL DOLEZAL, FORMER HEAD OF THE SEATTLE NAACP AND CAITLYN JENNER

4:30 PM
"HOW TO BANK $200 MILLION AS A PUBLIC SERVANT AND CLAIM TO BE BROKE"
SEMINAR BY HILLARY CLINTON

5:00 PM
"HOW TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL CAREER WITHOUT EVER HAVING A JOB, AND STILL AVOID PAYING TAXES."
A SEMINAR MODERATED BY AL SHARPTON AND JESSE JACKSON

5:30 PM
MEDAL OF FREEDOM PRESENTATION TO ARMY DESERTER BO BERGHDAL

6:00 PM
INVITATION-ONLY AUTOGRAPH SESSION
SOUVENIR PHOTOGRAPHS OF ELIZABETH WARREN DRESSED IN NATIVE AMERICAN CLOTHING

6:30 PM
TRIBUTE TO ALL OF THE 57 STATES
CONGRESSWOMAN NANCY PELOSI

7:00 PM
GENERAL VOTE ON PRAISING BALTIMORE RIOTERS, AND ON USING THE TERMINOLOGY "ALTERNATIVE SHOPPERS" INSTEAD OF "LOOTERS"

7:30 PM
THE WHITE HOUSE "SEMANTICS COMMITTEE" MEETING.
GENERAL VOTE ON RE-BRANDING "MUSLIM TERRORISM" AS "COUNTERING ISLAMOPHOBIA"

8:00 PM
"LIBERAL BIAS IN MEDIA HOW WE CAN MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU"
TUTORIAL SPONSORED BY CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, THE WASHINGTON POST AND THE NEW YORK TIMES.

8:30 PM
TRIBUTE FILM TO THE BRAVE FREEDOM FIGHTERS STILL INCARCERATED AT GITMO BY MICHAEL MOORE

9:00 PM
PERSONAL FINANCE SEMINAR - "BUSINESSES DON'T CREATE JOBS"
HOSTED BY BARACK OBAMA

9:30 PM
GROUP CONDEMNATION OF BITTER GUN OWNERS.

10:00 PM
CEREMONIAL "WE SURRENDER ! " WAVING OF THE WHITE FLAG

10:30 PM
SHORT FILM, "SETTING UP YOUR OWN ILLEGAL EMAIL SERVER WHILE SERVING IN A CABINET POST AND HOW TO PRETEND IT'S NO BIG DEAL"
HOSTED BY HILLARY CLINTON

11:00 PM
OFFICIAL NOMINATION OF KAMALA HARRIS
BILL MAHER AND CHRIS MATTHEWS

11:30 PM GROUP APOLOGY FOR BEING OLD AND WHITE LED BY BERNIE SANDERS, JOE BIDEN AND BILL CLINTON

__________________
Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

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Old Post 02-28-2020 04:06 PM
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honalieh
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Jul 2003
Location: PA
Posts: 2154

Mexican Olympic Team

Why does Mexico have such a bad Olympic team???




Because most of the ones that can run, jump, or swim are already in the U.S.

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Old Post 03-02-2020 03:27 AM
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benderb4
Banned

Registered: Dec 2019
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 1058

The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “OK. Go ahead.”
Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
The auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
“Are you OK?” the auditor asks.
“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”
Don’t mess with old people!

__________________
NOW THE LUNATICS ARE RUNNING THE ASYLUM IN WASHINGTON,DC.
MY SILENCE DOES NOT MEAN I AGREE WITH YOU...IT MEANS YOUR LEVEL OF STUPIDITY RENDERS ME SPEECHLESS
I AM NOT ARGUING WITH YOU..I AM JUST TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHY I AM RIGHT
TRUTH IS TREASON IN AN EMPIRE OF LIES...G. Orwell
DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING THE GOVERNMENT TELLS YOU...G. Carlin
ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE WORK RELENTLESSLY TO CENSOR THOSE WHO SPEAK THE TRUTH...Ron DeSantis

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Old Post 03-05-2020 11:30 PM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

So I just left Walmart and honestly it was shocking. They had no toilet paper at all. Reluctantly I headed over to the customer service desk and asked if they had any. The girl behind the counter said no and gave me a really disgusted look. Walking back to the bathroom with my pants around my ankles is a walk I never want to do again...

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Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

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Old Post 03-16-2020 10:01 PM
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Richard Lambert
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Registered: Aug 2004
Location: Chattanooga, Tn
Posts: 22460

We need a little humor today. What a World that we live in.

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Old Post 03-16-2020 10:47 PM
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Redneck Mafia
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Registered: Aug 2013
Location: Seneca, Mo
Posts: 5822

quote:
Originally posted by Bob Hennessey
So I just left Walmart and honestly it was shocking. They had no toilet paper at all. Reluctantly I headed over to the customer service desk and asked if they had any. The girl behind the counter said no and gave me a really disgusted look. Walking back to the bathroom with my pants around my ankles is a walk I never want to do again...

Priceless!!! Thanks Bob

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Cheyenne & Jennifer Cummings
Seneca , MO
(417)317-4815
"TEAM MAFIA"
*NATIONAL GRNITECH GRCH GRNITECH(5) HALL OF FAME PKC PLATIUM CH REDNECK BACKWOODS SHACK
2014 OK STATE CH, 2015 MO PKC LEADER, 2016 PKC NATIONALS SEMIFINALIST, 2016 UKC TOP 20, 2O17 UKC WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 3RD PLACE, 2018 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4, 2018 MO PKC STATE CHAMPION, 2019 AUTUMN OAKS NATIONAL GRNITE CH, 2019 PKC WORLD CH SEMIFINALIST. 2021 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4.
*PKC WORLD CHAMPION PLATNIUM CHAMPION GRNITECH SHACK'S HEATHER ISLAND SOUTHERN STOGIE
2021 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2022 PKC WORLD CHAMPION, 2022 MO PKC STATE LEADER

RIP
*GRNITECH PKC SCH REDNECK MAFIA PKC HALL OF FAME REPRODUCER INDUCTED 2022
*GRNITECH CH PKC SILVER CH REDNECK SHACK ATTACK aka TAC 2018 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2020 MO PKC STATE LEADER

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Old Post 03-16-2020 10:52 PM
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Bob Hennessey
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2010
Location: off the res.
Posts: 3415

Late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea.
He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”
“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” he was responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again, “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”
“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “it’s going to be a very cold winter.”
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”
“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.”
“How can you be so sure?” the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting a [censored] of firewood.”

__________________
Ignorance: the lack of knowledge, education, etc.
Stupidity: lacking normal intelligence.
Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand.
You can't fix STUPID!

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Old Post 03-21-2020 12:05 AM
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Rex Ridge
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Registered: Nov 2015
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😆

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Old Post 03-21-2020 02:06 AM
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Nathan Harder
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Registered: Jan 2018
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Posts: 236

Which one of you southern boys made this video???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os2T1meZiqI

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Kaskaskia River Runners

Iraq War Vet 03-04, 05-06
RECON
618-410-3034

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Old Post 03-27-2020 02:34 AM
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arachyd
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Oct 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 102

Ahhhh Ha Ha Ha!!!

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Gloria

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Old Post 03-27-2020 04:49 AM
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Redneck Mafia
UKC Moderator

Registered: Aug 2013
Location: Seneca, Mo
Posts: 5822

Lmbo! Thank Nathan! There are some drives that look like that around here could be one of Chey's associates in low places.

__________________
Cheyenne & Jennifer Cummings
Seneca , MO
(417)317-4815
"TEAM MAFIA"
*NATIONAL GRNITECH GRCH GRNITECH(5) HALL OF FAME PKC PLATIUM CH REDNECK BACKWOODS SHACK
2014 OK STATE CH, 2015 MO PKC LEADER, 2016 PKC NATIONALS SEMIFINALIST, 2016 UKC TOP 20, 2O17 UKC WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 3RD PLACE, 2018 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4, 2018 MO PKC STATE CHAMPION, 2019 AUTUMN OAKS NATIONAL GRNITE CH, 2019 PKC WORLD CH SEMIFINALIST. 2021 PKC SENIOR SHOWDOWN TRUCK HUNT FINAL 4.
*PKC WORLD CHAMPION PLATNIUM CHAMPION GRNITECH SHACK'S HEATHER ISLAND SOUTHERN STOGIE
2021 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2022 PKC WORLD CHAMPION, 2022 MO PKC STATE LEADER

RIP
*GRNITECH PKC SCH REDNECK MAFIA PKC HALL OF FAME REPRODUCER INDUCTED 2022
*GRNITECH CH PKC SILVER CH REDNECK SHACK ATTACK aka TAC 2018 OKLAHOMA STATE CHAMPION, 2020 MO PKC STATE LEADER

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Old Post 03-27-2020 05:07 AM
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