UKC Forum Member
Registered: Feb 2004
Location: Goshen In.
"elvis & The Octopus"
After two lengthly phone conversations with a reliable source, I was aked to share this hair-raising experience as relayed to me about our own "ELVIS" MARV SCHMUCKER with the readers of this fine organization! Well, it all started the other day when Elvis & Russ Bellar were down in South Carolina coonhunting! It was a pleasant day about 72 degrees, & the boys had a few hours to kill. Russ ask Elvis if he would like to go see what a shrimp pond looked like. Not really sure what one was, but always up for increasing his knowledge he gladly agreed. Realizing he was fix'en to go to a pond, he didn't want to pass up an opportunity to wet a line so to speak! So he throws a fish'en pole in the truck & they were on their way. When they got there Marv noticed that the water level was a little low. Be'ens he's a right smart AMISHMAN he figured that even though that pond was just suppose to be for shrimp(little) fish, he knew from experience with Indiana farm ponds, that there was at least one GRANDADDY bass in there amongest all them so-called shrimps! Directly he grabs his fish'en pole & slides down the bank. Realizing that he didn't bring his tacklebox he proceeded to look for something to use for bait. About that time his eyes fix on this 16'' drainage tile in the side of the bank! As he approaches the tile he detects movement comming from the end of the pipe. He eases up on the pipe, & to his delight see's what must be the biggest leech he has ever layed eyes on hang'en out of the end of that there pipe! Not want'en to spook it he sneaks up & at the last minute, grabs that thing as fast as he can!! Just about that time that there Leech goes to pull'en for all he was worth. Not fix'en to loose what might be the best BASS bait in all of South Carolina, he puts the squeeze on it & commences to pull'en that Humungous leech out of that drainpipe. Feel'en like he was loose'n ground he sets himself in front of that pipe & puts his feet on both sides where he can get some pull'in leverage! From what I was told the awfulest tug of war you ever witnessed commensed! All of the sudden, like the cork poppin out of a champayne bottle "POP" out this Leech come! Elvis's eyes grew big as saucers. He was stair'in face to face with what he thought must be one of them there deep-sea leeches, cause it was hooked with a bunch of it's kinfolk to what must be the nurse'n sack! No sooner had he freed it from the confines of that pipe, 2 of that leeches kin grabbed on to Elvis's leg & went to squeezin'! Decide'n he had bit off more than he could chew, he released his vise-like grip on that there leech, only to find out that it had know intention of lett'in go of him! Russ said he heard the God awfulest scream come out of Elvis when he realized that he was in the clutches of his first ever real live "SEA-LEECH" Russ said he sarted scream'en & squeal'in & kick'n like he was about to loose his life! Russ said he ran to the top of the bank & Elvis looked like he was mak'en mud angels! All the sudden Russ realized that that critter was a dragg'n Elvis for deep water! Elvis yelled for Russ to do something but when he looked up the bank, all he saw was the east end of Russ headed west!! He thought sure Russ was deserting him & he was surely going to get eat by this creature! What he didn't know was that Russ, be'in a true friend wasn't about to let no sea monster eat one of his most favoritest World-Champine handlers! Russ ran to the truck & grabbed his trusty Carbine & leveled it over the bed of the truck, only to hear Elvis going religious on him! He said that he couldn't make out all that Elvis was a yell'n but he distinctly heard him say'in OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAAAAAAVVvveeennn!!! Then all the sudden he broke out in what Russ discribed at first as "spiritual tongues"! After listening a minute he realized from be'in around some of them AIMISH that he has deer dealing with, that he was a talk'en Dutch... Russ figured he was just covering all his bases in case he was fix'en to get ate!! Elvis looked up to Russ, & all he could see was just Russ's eyes over the back of that truck. What he didn't know was Russ was tak'en dead aim on them two leeches what had ahold of his buddy, dragg'in him to deep water! With the sun to his back he licked his thumb whereas to get the shine off his bead, & he yelled Elllvvvissss!! Stop your thrash'in & I'll shoot them two off'n your leg!!! Just about the time he squeezed off a round, that thing did some kind of jelly flop & the shell ricocheted off the water & hit some farmers goat! Droppin it like a bad habit! Graveyard dead! Not want'in to kill anymore of the farmers goats, Russ grabbed his Buckknife out of it's sheath & dove off that bank & commensed to jobb'in that critter till he plum killed 2 of them leeches! Free at last, Elvis did a bear crawl up & over that bank like a scudd missile! Russ said it was the dangdest thing he had ever seen. Russ said Elvis threw his arms around Russ's neck & went to thank'in him, & Russ said he was about to black Elvis's eye cause he was sure he was fix'en to kiss him! Well, after he got Elvis settled down, they went to cutt'en them leeches off'n Elvis leg, & their host, Mike Thomas showed up & ask what in the world happened to you guys! Elvis went to explain'n bout this deep sea leech what was still on it's momma's sack a nurse'n when Elvis grabbed it & Mike Laughed & said that weren't no deepsea Leech!!! You just killed a dadburned octopus! Feel'in purty bad about what happened they thought they better leave before the farmer found out they had killed one of his prize goats! So they headed down the road & it started smell'in a little funny in the truck & about that time, Elvis asked Mike if he would kindly stop by the motel so he could change his shorts!!!: And to quote Walter Cronkite "AND THATS THE WAY IT WAS"
Barnyard/ John W. Delcamp
Last edited by Barnyard on 03-30-2015 at 06:35 PM
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