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Slough
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: S. Ga.
Posts: 4608

1. Grandfathers Don't Know Everything


Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids when he came into the house and asked, "Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?"

His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth.

"Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse."

"Oh, Okay," said little Hunter and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandpa, it's not called sexual intercourse. It's called bunk beds.... and Jimmys mom wants to talk to you."

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Old Post 03-28-2014 04:33 PM
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Slough
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: S. Ga.
Posts: 4608

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

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James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

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Old Post 03-28-2014 04:37 PM
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Slough
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: S. Ga.
Posts: 4608

Better than a Flu
Shot!
Miss Beatrice,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint
sitting room.
She invited him to have a
seat while she prepared tea...
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,the young
minister noticed a cut glass
bowl Sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water,
and in the water floated. of all
things,a condom!

When she returned
With tea and scones,they
began to chat. The pastor
tried to stifle his curiosity
About the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this?
Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it
wonderful? I was walking
through the park a few
months ago and I found
this little package on the
ground.
The directions said
To place it on the organ,
Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

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Old Post 03-28-2014 04:38 PM
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Slough
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: S. Ga.
Posts: 4608

Where did pi** poor come from?

Us older people need to learn something new every day..
Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.

Where did "Pi** Poor" come from?
Interesting History.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot
And then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery...
if you had to do this to survive you were "Pi** Poor".
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...
They "didn't have a pot to pi** in" and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,
Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals
(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
Could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery
In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,
It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests
And would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,
causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes,
so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status.
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle,
and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom; of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks
on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin
and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.)
to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth.
Now, whoever said History was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone! ~~~
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
'What the heck happened?'

We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.
Smile,
it gives your face something to do!

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James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

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Old Post 03-28-2014 04:44 PM
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BIGCASTLEDAWGS
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 19374

HappyFriday!

James... Some funny stuff! Got to share it with Bob who has no music night tonight so I have extra night with him!
WB... WHAT happened? Hope you and the dawgs are all OK today!!!!!
Corky, Nice picture but it kinda looks chilly!
Bruins WON last night! I do NOT recall the end of the game at all... and I WAS awake for it... We shut them out! YAY!
Warm today here... I noticed when I went out to get the mail.. I had been huddled by the radiator all day in a blanket...resting and feeling chilly... Walked into the garage where it was 42 and Shuddered... then I walked out side and it was WAY warmer out there than in the garage! LOL... It was grey so it LOOKED cold from in here... Then it got rainy and yucky too... supposed to be 60 tomorrow I think?
Mum sounded Psyched that I would be there tomorrow, I am REALLY hoping that doesn't mean she has a BIG LIST! lol
Have a Great Night Y'all, HappyHunting and if Idont' get back tonight... then have a Great Weekend!
Heather

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Old Post 03-29-2014 12:43 AM
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corky crowder
UKC Forum Member

Registered: May 2005
Location: virginia
Posts: 7043

GOODEVENING
BEEN RAINING ALL DAY
HEATHER
HOPE YOU ENJOY VISIT WITH MUM
JAMES
ENJOYED JOKES STILL LAUGHING
SHANNON
HOW IS LITTLE ONE DOING

IVE HEARD OF A CAT HOUSE BUT NEVER A HORSE HOUSE




HOMER BEEN AROUND THE BOSS TOO MUCH

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HOME OF TREETALKIN
BLACK & TANS
CORKY CROWDER
BRANDON MAYO
LINDA CROWDER

PR TREETALKIN LITTLE SASSY
TREETALKIN TROOPERS BLEW
TREETALKIN RANGER DANGER
TREETALKIN LIL SHOOTEM UP JAKE
GRCHPR TREETALKIN NIGHTHAWK GONE BUT NEVER WILL BE FORGOTTEN R.I.P.

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Old Post 03-30-2014 01:47 AM
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corky crowder
UKC Forum Member

Registered: May 2005
Location: virginia
Posts: 7043

HEY
WHERE IS EVERYONE

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CB&L KENNELS
HOME OF TREETALKIN
BLACK & TANS
CORKY CROWDER
BRANDON MAYO
LINDA CROWDER

PR TREETALKIN LITTLE SASSY
TREETALKIN TROOPERS BLEW
TREETALKIN RANGER DANGER
TREETALKIN LIL SHOOTEM UP JAKE
GRCHPR TREETALKIN NIGHTHAWK GONE BUT NEVER WILL BE FORGOTTEN R.I.P.

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Old Post 03-31-2014 03:28 AM
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vabluegal
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Nov 2012
Location:
Posts: 523

Morning y'all! Post to hit 70 today! Yay!!!! Got 5in of snow yesterday! Crazy march!


Shannon great pixs video! U have a lovely family!

Corky funny pix! Lol hope y'all doing good!

James good 1s lol

Heather glad mum doing better!

Hope everyone else is well!!

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BIGCASTLEDAWGS
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 19374

Hi Everyone!

PRAYERS TO ALL! Hope you all had a great weekend!

Great Weekend with Mum. Bob came for a "sleepover" on Sat night and we had fun, listening to one of mum's books on the reader from the Perkins Library(for the blind)... Mum doing well but quite tired. I WAS able to get her in and out of the tub. On Sat I said no...but by Sunday I felt I could do it. Worst case scenario I was going to get IN the tub behind her to get her up! I guess WORST case i would have called for help actually....lol....
SNOWED here today...lol... not even a dusting... been raining o n and off for a few days... pretty wet mucky yucky and dreary really... BLECH!
Got LOTS to get done on the Comp. this week... Bill paying etc... Oh Yay... lol...
Corky, Bob LOVED the horse house pix! Too Funny!
VABLUE... My goodness... enjoy the WARM but watch out for Puddles!
Later Gators, TONS to catch up on, HappyHunting!
Heather

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Old Post 03-31-2014 11:56 PM
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John Sisley
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Sep 2009
Location: Williamsfield Ohio
Posts: 1194

Hi gang. Beautiful day here today, sunny and upper 50's. Supposed to be in the middle 60's tomorrow.

James - great jokes.

Corky - nice pics.

Vablugal - nice pic of the snow. I hope we are done with it here.

Heather - very wet and muddy here also but I would much rather have mud than snow.

Have a great evening everyone.

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Old Post 04-01-2014 01:44 AM
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wbond
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Oct 2010
Location: Christiansburg,VA
Posts: 6289

Hello to all of youins did ever tell the story from the hunt the other nightnit was a wildone?

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The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. ~~ Thomas Jefferson

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have"

Thomas Jefferson

"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."
Thomas Jefferson

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John Sisley
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Sep 2009
Location: Williamsfield Ohio
Posts: 1194

Mornin

Let's hear the story Wendell.

Have a great day everyone.

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RANDY GIBSON
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Sep 2006
Location: bluefield,wv
Posts: 2936

morning

hope eveyone is doing well-- seems spring may be here for a day
or 2 anyway-- was having a good hunt last night until yotes got after my young dog-- man i hate those critters.

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Home of the Luke dogs!!!!
Nt.Ch.Gibson's Sunset Titan
Gibson's Sunset Maggie
Sunset Blue Ruby
Lightfoot Frostie
Sunset High Ridge Dan
Gone but not forgotten
Gr.Nt.Ch.Gibson's Sunset Luke
pkc.ch Gibson an Bates Sunset Buck
Gibson's Katie
Gibson's Ruby
304-320-7202

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rmcmillan
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Jul 2007
Location: WESTERN MARYLAND
Posts: 5948

Hey everyone.

I am still alive and well, just been real busy. I went back to work and with my kids schedule it is awfull hard to find time for myself.

Sure hope everyone is ok and doing well. I will try and do my best to show up more.

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Home of;

Nt.Ch. Gr.Ch. Gr.WCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Crystal
Ntch. GrCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Magic
Gr.Nt.Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Hawk
Nt. Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Rage
all are gone now but will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN



CH. PR. MCMILLANS TREE ROCKIN BRANDY
CH. PR. MCMILLANS MIDNITES STINGIN SADIE

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Old Post 04-02-2014 12:04 AM
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corky crowder
UKC Forum Member

Registered: May 2005
Location: virginia
Posts: 7043

GOOD EVENING
NEAR 80 TODAY BOOS WORKED ME HARD TODAY
WB
STILL NEED TO HEAR ABOUT TNE HUNT
ROB
GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU WE WERE WORRIED A BOUT YOU
HOPE EVERY ONE IS OK BEEN SLOW ON HERE
ANYONE GOING TO CHRISTIANSBURG SAT

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HOME OF TREETALKIN
BLACK & TANS
CORKY CROWDER
BRANDON MAYO
LINDA CROWDER

PR TREETALKIN LITTLE SASSY
TREETALKIN TROOPERS BLEW
TREETALKIN RANGER DANGER
TREETALKIN LIL SHOOTEM UP JAKE
GRCHPR TREETALKIN NIGHTHAWK GONE BUT NEVER WILL BE FORGOTTEN R.I.P.

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Old Post 04-02-2014 01:20 AM
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BIGCASTLEDAWGS
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 19374

Hi Everyone!

Prayers to all!

Rob, Nice to see ya!

WB, Be sure to tell us the story! You gave us a hint... then forgot to tell the tale!

NICE out today here, after 3 wet nasty days it was AWESOME! I wandered a bit, looking at buds and some crocuses and deer tracks etc... Nice. Then when Bob got home we cut some big limbs from a tree we're cutting down behind the house... Scary seeing Bob way up in the tree... but we got the limb. I had to HANG from a rope to give it tension...lol.. with my hands up high overhead and feet just on the ground... My arms and shoulders and neck are numb now but tomorrow..bet I'll have a BIG headache! lol...
OK... off to see wassup and try to get UP to the BED tonight instead of sofa sittin all night...last night I even skipped all my meds! Bad heather!
HappyHunting!!! Heather

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Old Post 04-02-2014 02:41 AM
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John Sisley
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Sep 2009
Location: Williamsfield Ohio
Posts: 1194

Good evening. It was a beautiful day here, 71 and sunny. I could get used to this.

Randy - those yotes are bad news. Me and a buddy was hunting about this time of the year a couple years ago and the dogs were running a coon and got too close to the yote den. We had to get the vet out of bed at midnight. It was nasty.

Rob - glad to have you back.

Corky - are you planting anything yet?

Have a great evening everyone.

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Old Post 04-02-2014 03:16 AM
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pttm08
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Apr 2011
Location: Franklin County,Va
Posts: 1149

Morning all,
Been a busy week so far. Been getting ready to be off for a few day. I have to go in Thursday for carpal tunnel surgery so been catching up on work and trying to hunt as much as possible.

Corky,
Depending on how things go and if I can find me a back up handler going to try to make it up there.

Randy,
We have them all around us some nights. Makes it hard to single a dog out worrying about them getting jumped.

Rob,
Nice to see ya. Keep in touch when you can.

Maybe WB is locked up that story could have been that good.lol.

Heather,
Take care of yourself.

Prayers to all in need.

__________________
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Angle Plantation Kennels
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PR CH Big Blue Buster HTX
PR CH Angle Plantation's Red Jasper

Let's get Ticked

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Old Post 04-02-2014 11:49 AM
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vabluegal
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Nov 2012
Location:
Posts: 523

Morning. Y'all! Man it was nice yesterday! Got to 75 pose to hit 80 today!

Rob glad u back an everything OK been wondern bout ya!

Corky I been working the hubby hard to got a big spring list! Lol

John yea hope that was the last of it!

Wb let's here it?!

Mike Hope surgery goes well good luck!

Randy I know what ya mean we dun got yotes back bad had a bunch of em carry on last nite!

Heather Hope u feeln OK today!

Shannon hope all is well wit y'all an baby doing good!

Hope everyone else is well an has great day!

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wbond
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Oct 2010
Location: Christiansburg,VA
Posts: 6289

Story I ant forgot and I ant in jail 1.3 miles as the crow flys in to Samantha and Rachael straight in to the river rough country than the walk back 61 degrees t shirt hunting weather and still ringing wet plus the bugs and the ticks good grief were is old man winter thought I get back in time to tell it I will try tomorrow 6 o'clock be here soon

__________________
The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. ~~ Thomas Jefferson

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have"

Thomas Jefferson

"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."
Thomas Jefferson

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corky crowder
UKC Forum Member

Registered: May 2005
Location: virginia
Posts: 7043

GOODMORNING
55 DEG SPOSED TO RAIN
JOHN
HAVENT PLANTED ANYTHING
MIKE
HOPE SURGEY GOSE GOOD
SHANNON
HOPE ALL IS WELL PIC OF LITTLE ONE
VABLUE
WEATHER NICE GOT TOO HOT YESTERDAY
ANYONE HEARD FROM SHANNON SHAWN AND ENGLISH BOB
HEATHER
HOPE EVERYONE IA OK UP YOUR WAY
EVERYONE HAVE GOOD DAY

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HOME OF TREETALKIN
BLACK & TANS
CORKY CROWDER
BRANDON MAYO
LINDA CROWDER

PR TREETALKIN LITTLE SASSY
TREETALKIN TROOPERS BLEW
TREETALKIN RANGER DANGER
TREETALKIN LIL SHOOTEM UP JAKE
GRCHPR TREETALKIN NIGHTHAWK GONE BUT NEVER WILL BE FORGOTTEN R.I.P.

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Old Post 04-03-2014 11:54 AM
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Slough
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: S. Ga.
Posts: 4608

Spring







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James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

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Old Post 04-03-2014 03:53 PM
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Slough
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: S. Ga.
Posts: 4608

Never ask children to pray

At dinner, little Johnny was asked to lead the prayer.

"But I don't know how to pray," he replied.

“Just pray for your family,friends and neighbors, the poor, etc.," said his father.
"Okay”, the boy said,".

"Dear Lord,... Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again.
Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.

This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my Daddy's iPad.
And provide shelter for the homeless man who uses Mom's room when Daddy is at work. AMEN"
Dinner was cancelled.

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James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

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Old Post 04-03-2014 04:02 PM
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corky crowder
UKC Forum Member

Registered: May 2005
Location: virginia
Posts: 7043

JAMES
NICE PIC JOOD JOKE

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CB&L KENNELS
HOME OF TREETALKIN
BLACK & TANS
CORKY CROWDER
BRANDON MAYO
LINDA CROWDER

PR TREETALKIN LITTLE SASSY
TREETALKIN TROOPERS BLEW
TREETALKIN RANGER DANGER
TREETALKIN LIL SHOOTEM UP JAKE
GRCHPR TREETALKIN NIGHTHAWK GONE BUT NEVER WILL BE FORGOTTEN R.I.P.

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Old Post 04-03-2014 06:37 PM
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pttm08
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Apr 2011
Location: Franklin County,Va
Posts: 1149

Surgery went well. just sitting at home relaxing now. thanks for all the prayers. Got my wife sitting here taking care of me.

Nice pics John looks nice to see the flowers and green grass.

Bond,
sounds like a fun night.

Prayers to all in need.

__________________
Michael Armes
Angle Plantation Kennels
540-598-0173
Home of

PR CH Big Blue Buster HTX
PR CH Angle Plantation's Red Jasper

Let's get Ticked

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Old Post 04-03-2014 08:19 PM
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