skyblu
UKC Forum Member
Registered: Jul 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 4324 |
Agreement
How about this?
>> DIVORCE AGREEMENT
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize
that I want a divorce.. I know we tolerated each other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly,
this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological
>> sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
>> right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can
>> smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go
>> our own way.
>>
>> Here is a model separation agreement:
>>
>> Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
>> landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult
>> part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
>> agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our
>> respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
>> assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate
>> tastes.
>>
>> We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep
>> them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
>> Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms,
>> the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah,
>> Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
>> responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
>> move all three of them).
>>
>> We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
>> pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can
>> have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal
>> aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
>> CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give
>> you NBC and Hollywood.
>>
>> You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll
>> retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten
>> us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
>> allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help
>> provide them security.
>>
>> We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome
>> to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can
>> also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the
>> bill.
>>
>> We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
>> cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
>>
>> You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
>> practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare
>> is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn
>> of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
>> you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine",
>> "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing",
>> "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
>>
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends
you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to
other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if
you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly
parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need
whose help in 15 years..
>> Sincerely,
>> John J. Wall Law Student and an American
>> P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda
>> with you.
__________________
SKY
___________________
Author of the novel "Follow Jennifer"
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03-23-2009 01:06 AM
