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s/s
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2006
Location: BRIGHTON, TENNESSEE 30 miles north of Memphis
Posts: 2169

Well, It Has All Come Together For The Holidays

I want to start off by wishing everybody a very safe and Merry CHRISTmas and a wonderful Happy New Year to all. I know there will so many folks traveling through the next few weeks to visit families through the hoildays. Please be safe and enjoy your families to the fullest.

Some of my closer friends on here know that my parents have had some health issues this year. Even fewer of those know to what extent the issues have been. I just don't know where to begin.

My father over the last couple of years has had a few problems with memory and so on. As most folks do, ya laugh it off and just say oh, everybody forgets when they get old...LOL...Well, in his case he is not that old...This coming up birthday in March, he will be 69.

Let's skip to my Mom....Back in the early part of this year, I guess before spring. We found out that my Momma needed open heart surgery....Triple by-pass....With her already exsisting health problems the doctor feared she would not be a good candidate for this surgery. My Momma is just 61 years young.

So, here is the situation...
My Fathers mind started slipping really fast...So many things happened, I just can't go through it all....But, what the bad part is he got really mean...At the point of being violent at times...This caused my Mom to continue to put off her health, in fear of what would happen to my Dad...At times he would get angry when we would try to discuss Moms health with him...We, my brohter & I, really needed to do something about our Mother. It got to the point of fear all the time about both of them. I happened to have been the person in the family that my Father turns on in his heavy memory laps & anger fits. Then he would turn on Mom because she would not and could not side with him..It made it easier for Mom if I just wasn't around. Dad, was at ease a little more...So, so many unspeakable things have taken place over this last summer..My escape has been our hounds...The boys & my brother have been here and have urged us to do all that we could with the dogs, while we could...WELL, it all came to a head a coupe months ago. To make a long story short, my Father is now in a full care nursing home...GOD, it makes me sick to say the words...But, we had to...We just had to, to save my Mom....

My Mother is now scheduled to have her triple by-pass open heart surgery the Tuesday after Christmas...Thank God, we can have some quality time with her through these last few days before the surgergy...We plan on visiting family that she has not seen in a long while...Over the summer, she has not been able to see ANY of her family due to my Fathers illness. We are even gonna take her to the casino on the Sunday before the surgery...She loved doing that with Dad....

Dad, God bless him...He just doesn't understand why he is there...We try and tell him that we are trying to save him and Mom, but, he forgets over and over that Mom is even sick. He thinks we have just locked him away. That we don't love him because he forgets things and gets lost sometimes...He doesn't remember any of the mean & violent things he has done...

So, I am asking everyone, to hold what you have...If you would have asked me this time last year what I would be doing right now, it sure wouldn't be telling the world about this...

Please pray for my Father. That God will give him the comfort to know that this is what has to done to save Mom....

Please pray that Mom will have the will and strength come through this surgery....

Although, I am very sad over all that is going on with the health of my parents...I am so very happy that I have this special holiday to examine my life....There will be no gifts exchanged this year...Only our love for each other is what will be exchanged....

God bless everyone through these wonderful days !
MERRY CHRISTMAS !!

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Last edited by s/s on 12-18-2008 at 05:27 PM

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12-18-2008 05:21 PM

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BIGCASTLEDAWGS
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 19374

Praying for you all...

... For your whole family and especially your Mom and Dad. Being brain injured...and having memory issues I think alot about dementia and alzheimers... I know that I may have issues like this earlier than I would have before and PRAY I will never be cruel to my family...but I also know they will be careful and watchful... SIGH. Bob's mother in law(his late wifes mom) had alzheimers and had gotten a bit mean just before she moved from his home... it was pretty scary for Bob and for his kids to see... but they knew why it was happening. Doesn't make it any easier for YOU guys who have to deal with it....
That said... My mum is almost 90 and my oldest sister at 60 has physical and mental health issues... I have always treasured time with my loved ones and hoped that ALL could be surrounded by love, especially at the Holidays. There are too many people who have no one... I used to love to be at the nursing homes with the greyhounds around the Holidays to brighten a lonely life. I would tell all of you... that if you have tho opportunity to give a stranger a kind moment or two... your heart will swell and your life will be forever changed.

I believe God will care for your mother and also your father in the ways of a loving Father....
We are so very sorry that you are having to go through this and send special thoughts and prayers for you and your family to have strength.
Have a Peaceful, good and SAFE Christmas, Sabrina
Heather and Bob

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12-18-2008 05:42 PM

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s/s
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Feb 2006
Location: BRIGHTON, TENNESSEE 30 miles north of Memphis
Posts: 2169

Thanks Heather....You are such a sweet person... Your kind words on everyones post always make me smile.

I know I got long winded this morning....I needed to vent....

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12-19-2008 02:14 AM

BIGCASTLEDAWGS
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Mar 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 19374

I UNDERSTAND!

quote:
Originally posted by s/s
Thanks Heather....You are such a sweet person... Your kind words on everyones post always make me smile.

I know I got long winded this morning....I needed to vent....

First, Thanks about my being Sweet

... I can't help it... I just DO care about people...
Second... it is VERY VERY important to vent about this... to friends, family etc.. because otherwise the stress can get to your own health... watching parents suffer in any way is so hard for a child of any age.
As for getting long winded... you think I WOULD care? LOL I'm the Queen of Long Winded....

Take care and know that we BOTH send thoughts and prayers, Heather and Bob

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12-19-2008 02:48 PM

Daren McKenzie
UKC Forum Member

Registered: Mar 2006
Location: McBee, S.C.
Posts: 281

Sabrina

Sorry for what ya have been going through, I will have you in my prayers and will be waiting to hear the good news after Christmas with your Mother......These times and days people tend to overlook the real meaning of the season....I think that is the best gift you could give,a nd that is yourself to your family and to God.....will be thinking about you and your family.... Daren

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12-19-2008 03:09 PM