Registered: Aug 2010
Location: Fuquay Varina, NC
Posts: 117

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow For my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if
I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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Registered: Jun 2003
Location: waldo wi
Posts: 3221

!?????? ARE YOU O.K. ?

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Registered: Dec 2010
Location: Millington
Posts: 102

LMAO

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Todd

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Registered: Aug 2009
Location: MIDDLE OF NO WHERE WV
Posts: 1732

hahaha

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Registered: Jun 2003
Location: Lumpkin, Ga
Posts: 8757

Sounds pretty reasonable to me!

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Johnny Williams

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Registered: Jan 2007
Location: Lake Panasoffkee, Florida
Posts: 1116

THX! I needed a laugh.

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Registered: Aug 2010
Location: Coldwater MS
Posts: 1328

THAT WAS SO FUNNY!

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DILLER DOGS

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Registered: Jun 2010
Location: Ararat, NC
Posts: 249

now thats the funnest thing ive read in a while... lmao

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Registered: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 636

Heeere`s your sign!!!

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Registered: Jan 2008
Location: norlina nc
Posts: 566

That was a good one! I needed a good laugh!!

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Registered: May 2007
Location: fairmont wv
Posts: 11948

lol think i will try the purina dog chow diet

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Registered: Jul 2003
Location: DRYDEN,MI.
Posts: 769

US BLACK AND TAN PEOPLE ARE A CRAZY BUNCH !

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Registered: Dec 2005
Location: wakarusa, indiana
Posts: 3304

Haha that's funny. Good one lol

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Registered: Oct 2008
Location: MO.
Posts: 110

That sounds like something one of us ol hillbillies in my part of the country would say yeh buddy.

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Registered: Mar 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2094

roflmao....that was a good one..

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Registered: Oct 2006
Location: ky
Posts: 153

Now thats some funny stuff right there!!!

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Registered: Oct 2007
Location: Medford, WI
Posts: 3312

i love it!!!

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