Registered: Dec 2004
Location: maryland
Posts: 596

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,

Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:






We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this

latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I

know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future

generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two

ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is

right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile; slate it up

to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.




Here is a model dissolution agreement:




Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass -- each

taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two

sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be

relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide

other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are

welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.




Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA,

and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie

O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle

big enough to move them).



We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical

companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved

homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot

Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles

and give you NBC and Hollywood .



You can make nice with Iran , Palestine , and France and we'll retain the

right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the

peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under

assault, we'll provide them job security.



We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam,

Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N., but

we will no longer be paying the bill.



We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can

take every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everyone

health care, if you can find any practicing doctors (that is practicing,

Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf. We'll continue to believe

health care is a luxury and not a right.




We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm

sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World

To Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are The World.




We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up

poverty its best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our

History, our Name, and our Flag.




Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other

like-minded patriots, and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang

on. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will

need whose help in 15 years.





P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand as well.

__________________
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Jeff Wilson

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Registered: Jan 2006
Location: Diamondhead, Ms
Posts: 371

Those of us with Southern blood and our Southern hearts there still tried that old "split the country" thing -- and it didn't work out so well....

The President at that time (the one our current President so admires) was the only President (so far) who amassed an army in order to attack it's own citizens.

Good theory, bad idea.

Marc Price

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