![]() |
Show all 11 posts from this thread on one page |
UKC Forums (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/index.php)
- UKC Coonhounds (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=4)
-- Not Dog Related But Sure Is Funny (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=5237)
Not Dog Related But Sure Is Funny
RECEIVED THIS IN MY EMAIL AND THOUGHT YOUD ALL LIKE IT!!!
THE GO-GO DANCER
>
> > Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee
and
> the
> > fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
> > The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
> > The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so
> > successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."
> > The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a
> > multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend
> > a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
> > The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a
> stockbroker,
> > and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
> > The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking
care
> of
> > business. The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons.
> > How is yours doing?"
> > The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay
> bar.
> >
> > " The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally
> > thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last
> three
> > boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock
> portfolio.
__________________
DAKOTA BLUE KENNELS
HOME OF UKC PERFORMANCE SIRE
"DUAL CH. DAKOTA BLUE JAMMER"
4 WINS TOWARD GR NT
4 WINS TOWARD GR SH
AND REPRODUCIN!!
That is too funny
I'd love to tell that joke to all of the braggert mommies that I deal with around here. They think there sons are future major league at age 3....They probably wouldn't get it....
Good One, Dan
I needed a good laugh today!
Thanks

__________________
Keep your viewpoint sharp on what truly matters............... and leave everything else a blur!
that was a pretty good one.
__________________
JEREMIAH 51:20
Thou art my battle "AXE" and weapons of war:
HERES ANOTHER
THE BUS STOP
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with them are
> their nine children.
> A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
> When the bus arrives,they find it overloaded and only the wife and
> the nine kids are able to fit in the bus.
> So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
> After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick
> of the blind man as he taps it on the side walk and says to him:
> "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end your stick, that
> ticking sound is driving me crazy!
> The blind man replies:
> "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be
> riding the bus, so shut the hell up!"
__________________
DAKOTA BLUE KENNELS
HOME OF UKC PERFORMANCE SIRE
"DUAL CH. DAKOTA BLUE JAMMER"
4 WINS TOWARD GR NT
4 WINS TOWARD GR SH
AND REPRODUCIN!!
lol, Dan...just what I needed, jokes i had to read three times at 2:15 AM!!!!
Enjoyed them, here's one back at you....more my speed (short!)
What's the last thing that goes through a fly's head when he hits a glass windowpane?
HIS A$$ ROFLMAO
LOL SO LIBBY BEEN TREEIN ANY COON LATELY ON THEM NILLA WAFERS LMAO....WELL GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE
__________________
DAKOTA BLUE KENNELS
HOME OF UKC PERFORMANCE SIRE
"DUAL CH. DAKOTA BLUE JAMMER"
4 WINS TOWARD GR NT
4 WINS TOWARD GR SH
AND REPRODUCIN!!
HERES ANOTHER
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend
> to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs,
> they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided
> that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would
> follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked
> into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife
> an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one
> letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.
> In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was
> a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a
> heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from
> relatives and friends! Upon reading the first message, she fainted and
> fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his
> mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen, which read: To: My
> Loving Wife
> From: Your Departed Husband
> Subject: I've Arrived!
> I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has
> been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
> then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. Sure is hot
> down here!
__________________
DAKOTA BLUE KENNELS
HOME OF UKC PERFORMANCE SIRE
"DUAL CH. DAKOTA BLUE JAMMER"
4 WINS TOWARD GR NT
4 WINS TOWARD GR SH
AND REPRODUCIN!!
PERSONAL AD
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE
SBF Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck.
Hunting
Camping
Fishing trips.
Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
Rub me the right way and watch me respond.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what
nature gave me.
Kiss me and I'm yours.
Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy.
(The phone number was the Humane Society and Daisy was an eight week old
black Labrador Retriever.)
__________________
DAKOTA BLUE KENNELS
HOME OF UKC PERFORMANCE SIRE
"DUAL CH. DAKOTA BLUE JAMMER"
4 WINS TOWARD GR NT
4 WINS TOWARD GR SH
AND REPRODUCIN!!
Here's another more hunting related one ;)
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, the slowest and weakest of the herd in the back are the first killed. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer elimimates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
LOL HERE IS ANOTHE GOOD ONE
WHAT WENT WRONG!!!
We now know how it all went wrong...
The old Cherokee chief sat in his hut on the reservation, taking an occasional draw from his pipe, and eyeing warily the two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "as the oldest surviving human in North America, you have observed the white man for many generations."
"You have bore witness to his many wars and the senseless destruction they have wrought."
"You have seen all his products, all his progress, and all his problems," to which the chief nodded.
The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where exactly did the white man go wrong?"
The chief sat quietly for a moment, staring at the officials in a dignified, if not amused, manner. He took several draws from his pipe, as he was obviously enjoying this moment. After a while he sat forward and replied.....
"When the white man found this land, the people that the Gods had intended to be it's master were running it."
"No taxes."
"No debt."
"Plenty Buffalo."
"Plenty Beaver."
"Women do most of work."
"Medicine man free."
"Native men hunted and fished all day."
The chief smiled, and sat back into his seat adding quietly,
"White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
__________________
DAKOTA BLUE KENNELS
HOME OF UKC PERFORMANCE SIRE
"DUAL CH. DAKOTA BLUE JAMMER"
4 WINS TOWARD GR NT
4 WINS TOWARD GR SH
AND REPRODUCIN!!
| All times are GMT. The time now is 02:32 PM. | Show all 11 posts from this thread on one page |
Powered by: vBulletin Version 2.3.0
Copyright © Jelsoft Enterprises Limited 2000 - 2002.
Copyright 2003-2020, United Kennel Club