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-- Walmart does it all now! (joke) (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=95240)

Walmart does it all now! (joke)

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

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Redticker

LMBAO!!! That is the best one I ever heard. Now we know why Sheep left the board. He can't type untill his elbow gets better.LOL

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Jim Wigley
Burr Oak Blueticks

LMAO Mr. Wigley........mean but funny

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NO GAMES JUST TRUTH

Team True Blue
Winter's True Blue Kennels
7708466105

HA HA GOOD ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Al Tarantella

That is a good one.

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River Bottom Blue Kennel.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by J. Wigley
LMBAO!!! That is the best one I ever heard. Now we know why Sheep left the board. He can't type untill his elbow gets better.LOL [/QUOTE/] That's funny, I don't care who you are!!!

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Home of the Big Bend Treeing Walkers:

PR' Crabtree's BigBend Ace
& looking for young pup...

Dylan Crabtree

Another walmart joke..

Wal-Mart
> > Complaint Department
> > Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> >
> > Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
> > quite a commotion in our store.
> >
> > We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the
> > entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
> >
> > We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
> >
> > Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your
husband
> > has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and
are
> > listed below.
> >
> > Mr. Wally
> > President and CEO
> > Wal-Mart
> >
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Wal-Mart
> > MEMO
> >
> > Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
> > while his spouse/partner is shopping:
> >
> > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
> > carts when they weren't looking.
> >
> > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5-minute
> > intervals.
> >
> > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
> > rooms.
> >
> > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
> > 'Code 3' in house wares... and watched what happened.
> >
> > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
on
> > lay away.
> >
> > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
> >
> > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other
> > shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
> > department.
> >
> > 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
cry
> > and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
> >
> > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
> > mirror, and picked his nose.
> >
> > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the
> > clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
> >
> > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
> > "Mission Impossible" theme.
> >
> > 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using
> > different size funnels.
> >
> > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
> > yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
> >
> > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
> > assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!"
> >
> > (And; last, but not least!)
> >
> > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
> > while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

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I'm the type of girl that will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happend yesterday.

lol great one lol

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coonhunter for life