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-- Why my wife won''t take me shopping (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=319803)

Why my wife won''t take me shopping

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in

and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to


browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local


Target.







Dear Mrs. XXX



Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our

store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of


you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. XXX are listed


below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.





1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's



carts when they weren't looking.



2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at

5-minute intervals.



3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.



4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,


'Code

3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave
her

assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn

resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing


the company money.



5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on


layaway.



6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the

bedding department to which twenty children obliged..



8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and

screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.



9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror

while he picked his nose.



10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked

the

clerk where the antidepressants were.



11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the



'Mission Impossible' theme.



12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by

using different sizes of funnels.



13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,


yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'



14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed

a

fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



And last, but not least:



15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then



yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks

passed out.

now that sounds like fun! lol

__________________
English hounds is their anything BETTER!

home of 'pr' chase outlaw kane (Timberjack Log Chain x cridlin swamp babe)

PR Chase Outlaw Tank
( Gr ch nite ch Medds Odie X dual ch Chase outlaw Kandy)

'NiteCH, CH, Chase Outlaw Kandy (Timberjack Log Chain x Timberjack Swan Creek Jill) RIP

Joe Regnier

CEll 519 917 1906
http://chaseoutlawkennels.webs.com/

thats just great

shopping

Gave me some good ideas.I hate shopping.thanks

__________________
Michael Jeffries

I have tears after reading that! OH can i see the guys doing this to me.... Once in walmart there was a tv playing in the hunting section a hunting show...well it DID NOT sound like a hunting show, so my friend assumed someone had switched it for porn took off running around the corner only to run into an old lady who said " yep know what you were thinking!!!" His face when 2 shades of red and he left! We have laughed for years over that one!

__________________
God is great,Beer is good, and people R crazy!