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-- Today's World History Lesson.... (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=221170)

Today's World History Lesson....

*For those that don't know about history... here is a condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and

2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these Liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu , and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in **Hollywood** and group therapists are Liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, game wardens, constitutional lawyers,, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans are. That is why most of the Liberals remained in **Europe** when Conservatives were coming to **America**. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history...

I like it!!

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MRC

What a fine lesson in American History.

History Lesson

I can't wait until tomorrow !!!!!

bdm

I wish everyone saw it the way we do!!!

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Marshall Tarlton
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Home:704-694-5659

HUNTER'S PRIDE KENNELS

great lesson

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blackandtans till i die
rebels black and tans
(rebels blck sky deceased) rebels blck pearl
REBEL TANK
my girls rebels blck raven rebels honeydo and rebels ruby
the freak dozer

This was so good it needs to be bumped again....

__________________
"The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." Norman Thomas, (1884-1968)

AND AGAIN!

AMEN TO THAT!!!

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EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

and again

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Edward

" Puzzle Gully Kennel "

Puzzle Gully"Sam
Puzzle Gully"Jim Jr----JJ
Puzzle Gully"Reddy Freddy"
Puzzle Gully''Daddy Frank''
Puzzle Gully''Smil'in Bob''
Puzzle Gully''Kate''
Puzzle Gully''Busher''
Puzzle Gully''Cricket''

re

best lesson in history i ever read

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i am bi-polar..forgive me =]

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Please

Do not disturb, I'm doing my best to form another village.

__________________
Edward

" Puzzle Gully Kennel "

Puzzle Gully"Sam
Puzzle Gully"Jim Jr----JJ
Puzzle Gully"Reddy Freddy"
Puzzle Gully''Daddy Frank''
Puzzle Gully''Smil'in Bob''
Puzzle Gully''Kate''
Puzzle Gully''Busher''
Puzzle Gully''Cricket''

ha btt

ah ha now it all makes perfect sense. thanks for the history lesson proffessor!! LOL

__________________
Keep 'em treed,
Jeff Wagner

Hunting is one of those pleasures that you won't understand if you have to have it explained, which is good because folks who enjoy it can't fully explain why. -Ron Spomer

awesome lol

__________________
“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” --- William Penn