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-- jUST A FUNNY HAD TO SHARE LOL (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=244743)

jUST A FUNNY HAD TO SHARE LOL

Cat Lover or Not, this is Hysterical!


We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.


Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.'

'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!'

'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?'

There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?'
If they only knew!

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

__________________
Steele Farm Aussies and Hounds

CH Hayseed's Sweet Talkin Sadie
Steele Farm Marly
Steele Farm Tucker

PR Mitchell's Whiskey In a Jar
May 14,2006 - Feb 13,2010

ouch!

That`s funny ,painful, but funny.We have a cat that attacks everything that moves but have given her that target and don`t intend to either.

Ouch that had to hurt! but that was a very funny story.

If that was my cat, he/she would be wishing it had nine lives.

I laughted so hard I had a hard time finishing reading the story!

__________________
Bill Harper
Washington, NC
252-944-5592

quote:

---

Originally posted by Bill(Chew)
I laughted so hard I had a hard time finishing reading the story!

---

__________________
Sabrina Smith & Sam Brogdon
Critter Creek Coonhounds
Home of:

ACHA CH AKC CH CSG UKC GRFCH GRWCH GRCH 'PR' TREE RIZIN' T-REX II
At Stud/Private Treaty
2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009 UKC Performance Sire / 2010 AKC Supreme Breeders Sire
2010 #7 UKC Top Ten Redbone Bench Show Dog
2009 Indiana State Youth 1st Line/1st Tree Water Race Champion
2007 Autumn Oaks Champion Redbone Male

WCH GRFCH GRCH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS ICE ICE BABY
CH 'PR' APPLEBEE'S MAGGIE~Tracker X Ice Baby~owner/handler ZACH WOOD
2012 Missouri Federation Youth Championship Cast winner, 4th Place & Queen of Hunt
2012 Iowa State Youth Best Female of Show
2012 Missouri State Youth High Scoring Redbone
2012 Missouri State Youth Champion Female of Show
2012 Marshall, MO Cast winner, 2nd Place
AKC CSG UKC GRCH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS SWEET ICE T~Tracker X Ice Baby
2008~Charleston, MS State Championship Champion of Champion Female @ 9 months old
GRCH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS TRACKER JACK~Tracker X Ice Baby
2008 Mississippi State Over-all Show Champion @ 9 months old
Needed 10 points for WCH @ 14 months old
RIP lil buddy, you were definitely one of a kind and you are truly missed~my heart
AKC CSG UKC FCH GRWCH GRCH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS BIG RED TRACTOR~Tracker X Ice Baby
AKC CCH UKC CH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS ROCK STAR~Tracker X Ice Baby
AKC CH UKC CH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS CRY ME A RIVER~Tracker X Ice Baby
CH'PR' MARVS MULESKINNER ICE BABY RED~Tracker X Ice Baby

AKC CCH ACHA CH UKC GRWCH GRCH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS SOUTHERN GRACE
CH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS PHASE II~Tracker X Grace
RIP Hot Dog. I wish I could have a redo with you big guy. Truely sorry you're gone </3
AKC CGW UKC GRWCH 'PR' CC'S SOUTHERN OUTLAW TRACKER~Tracker X Grace
2012 MO Federation High Point Water Race Champion

AKC CH CGCH UKC GRCH 'PR' RIVER RIDGE EYE ON SATURN
2008 #7 UKC Top Ten Redbone Bench Show Dog
AKC CSG UKC WCH GRFCH GRCH 'PR' CRITTERCREEK MOMMAS GOTTA HEMI~Tracker X Saturn
09/2012 Cast win for a 2nd place in her first nite hunt
2012 American Redbone Days Hunting Pairs
WCH CH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS JOHNNIE ANGEL~Tracker X Saturn
2013 Indiana State Youth 1st Tree Field Trial Champion
CH 'PR' CRITTER CREEKS GIRLS CAN II~Tracker X Saturn

AKC CH CSG UKC GRFCH WCH GRCH 'PR' SECOND EDITIONS MAKING WAVES
2013 UKC Performance Sire
2012 #5 UKC Top Ten Redbone Bench Show Dog
2012 MISSOURI FEDERATION ZONE 8 HIGH POINT BENCH CHAMPION
2012 UKC Performance Sire
2012 Southern Redbone Days/Friday/CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS/Pairs
2012 Grand American CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS/Champion Redbone Male
2011 Annual KING & QUEEN Kinder, MO/CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS
2010 AUTUMN OAKS/Best Senior Redbone Male
2009 NATIONAL REDBONE DAYS/Best Male Of Show
2010 AKC SOUTH CAROLINA STATE CHAMPIONSHIP/Best Male Of Show

A FRIEND SENT IT TO ME AND I JUST HAD TO SHARE IT, HALF OF WHAT MAKES IT SO FUNNY IS THE TOTAL AVERSION TO 4-LETTER WORDS, (while telling the story), BUT YOU KNOW THAT WASNT THE CASE AT THE TIME LOL

__________________
Steele Farm Aussies and Hounds

CH Hayseed's Sweet Talkin Sadie
Steele Farm Marly
Steele Farm Tucker

PR Mitchell's Whiskey In a Jar
May 14,2006 - Feb 13,2010

up

__________________
Steele Farm Aussies and Hounds

CH Hayseed's Sweet Talkin Sadie
Steele Farm Marly
Steele Farm Tucker

PR Mitchell's Whiskey In a Jar
May 14,2006 - Feb 13,2010

????????

Where'd they bury the cat, lol, thats too funny not to share.

__________________
George Florence

'PR' OUTBACK TRASHY LULU

CH GRNTCH 'PR' WRECK IT RALPH (Dead Cat X Outback Trashy LuLu) 2017 UKC World Finalist. 2018 UKC World Hunt Qualified.

CH GRNTCH 'PR' CATS TRASHY TOMCAT (Dead Cat X Outback Trashy LuLu) 2016 , 2017 & 2018 UKC World hunt qualified

'PR' Blue Eyed Pete (Watsons Jackal X Hello Kitty)

'PR' Wipeout Harley (Joinertown Wipeout Zeb 3 X Dark Mtn Crankin Holly)



past home of

GRNTCH 'PR' DEAD CAT

NTCH WCH 'PR' DEAD CATS ECHO

DEAD KITTY!!

__________________
Wesley DePalmo

Home of:
GR NITE CH GR CH 'PR' DePalmo's Livin On Alimony
CH 'PR' DePalmo and Stine's Bombshell Bella

LMFAO now thats funny, sounds painful though haha

__________________
Autumn Clements

'PR'LEAD'S MIDNITE SASSY
CFC CH Canadian GCH Multi Group Placing MBPIG BBPIG LEGACYK STANNYFIELD PRIME TIME (AKC & UKC Pointed)
BPIG MBBPIG WINDAMIRS RED LIGHT DISTRICT V AMBERLANE
LEGACYK DARE TO DREAM V CBLUES
LEGACYK WHITE AS A GHOST V CBLUES

Gone but not forgotten
GRNITECH GRCH PKC CH'PR'CLEMENTS' BLUE PRANCER
GRNITECH GRCH'PR'SPIKE'S TWILITE HOOKER
'PR'PRANCER'S GETTIN DOWN N DIRTY (PrancerxHooker)
NITECH CH’PR’BUELL’S BLUE ROCKY(Whitey x Spice)
CKC BBPIG MARIES BABY BREEZE

OMFG LMFAO

ooh my god, my belly hurts from laughing! All i can say is.......MEOW.........MeooWWwWW!