UKC Forums (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/index.php)
- Off Topic (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=53)
-- Fresh sweet tea! (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=928333384)

Martha, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Martha's house...walked home.... and left it there all night.

You gotta love Henry.

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

For the young, Red Skelton was a marvelous comic back in the 1950s. As you will see, his humor is timeless. These lines are from the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere...but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even... Nothing too strenuous, simply Ding .......... Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cell phone on a bench close by begins to ring with a deafening and highly irritating Rap Tune. Someone screams, "Turn that thing off before I throw it in the shower room!"

The man nearest to the phone reaches over. He engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello?"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes, I am."

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models for next year. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They've come down $10,000 and now they are asking $950,000. What do you think, should we make them an offer?"

MAN: "Absolutely. Go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $940,000 so they will know we are serious buyers."

WOMAN: "OK, Honey! Now you're talking! I can't wait to see you later! Look for me upstairs and don't be long! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then the man smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

The old retired man had been taking Golf lessons. He was making steady progress, but chafed at the constant needling of the golf pro.

Finally, one day the old man challenged the golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. “But,” said the old man, “since you’re obviously much better than I am, to even it a bit you have to spot me two ‘gotchas’.” The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he knew easy money was to be had so he went along with it. And off they went.

Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the old duffer $100. “What happened?” asked one of the members.

“Well,” said the pro, “I was teeing up for the first hole, and just as I brought the club down, the jerk stuck his hand up between my legs and grabbed my cajones while yelling ‘Gotcha!’ Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second ‘gotcha’?”

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

AFTERNOON everyone! Been hot an humid today callin for bad storms here to!

Ptt prayers sent I'm sure he is having a hard time ! An that's what we dun wit our pups !

Rob hope knee doing good!

Heather Hope shoulder gets better!!

Shannon hope all is well wit u!

Shawn I duno if we going or not yet! Hope y'all r well!

Corky y'all been doing OK?

A WW II American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London.

The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat. He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down. Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British lady, with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her. Could I please sit in that seat?” he asked.

The lady was insulted; “You Americans are so rude,” she said, “Can’t you see my dog is sitting there”?

He walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat. He found himself back at the same place.

“Lady, I love dogs - have a couple at home - so I would be glad to hold your dog if I can sit down.”

The lady replied, “You Americans are not only rude you are arrogant.”

He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said. “Lady, I’ve been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time; could I please sit there and hold your dog?”

The lady replied, “You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious.”

With that comment, the soldier completely lost his temper. He stepped over, picked up the dog, threw it out the window, and sat down. As she watched the young man shaking with anger, the lady was speechless, but at least had the sense to shut up.

At this, an older, neatly dressed Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up. “Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady’s description of you or not. But I do know after watching you, I am starting to believe the old legend that only the stupid ones sailed to the Colonies. You Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong biatch out of the window

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a golf club wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."

"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball...stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, When I lifted the tail I yelled to my wife, ............. "Hey, this looks like yours!'"

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.

"Not yet", said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little angry, so when he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. Mother watches with a frown.

He goes in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick a pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick a cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

WB did,nt you have that same problem with a deer last year ? ------- I,ll try to be at tri-county 7th of sept. ------ see ya

JAMES
GOOD JOKES
SHAW
next week
LOOKED AT EVENTS IF BRANDON GETS BLEW WORKING GOING TO BACK CREEK FRI TRI COUNTIES AND CHRISTAINSBURG SAT
VABLUE
THINGS GOING GOOD HOW ARE THINGS UP THERE

__________________

CB&L KENNELS
HOME OF TREETALKIN
BLACK & TANS
CORKY CROWDER
BRANDON MAYO
LINDA CROWDER
PR TREETALKIN LITTLE SASSY
TREETALKIN TROOPERS BLEW
TREETALKIN RANGER DANGER
TREETALKIN LIL SHOOTEM UP JAKE
GRCHPR TREETALKIN NIGHTHAWK GONE BUT NEVER WILL BE FORGOTTEN R.I.P.

James
Good jokes.

Amish mafia and tickle on this eve.

__________________
Home of;

Nt.Ch. Gr.Ch. Gr.WCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Crystal
Ntch. GrCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Magic
Gr.Nt.Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Hawk
Nt. Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Rage
all are gone now but will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN


CH. PR. MCMILLANS TREE ROCKIN BRANDY
CH. PR. MCMILLANS MIDNITES STINGIN SADIE

Evening folks!

Hi Everyone...
Bond... SOrry bout your truck vs deer... Hope you are ok and truck not so bad?
Mike Prayers sent....

Rob... you take care of that knee so you can handle TONS of pups soon!
James...lol... good stuff!

RAIN here to start! We NEEDED it badly! Muggy but decent day. I rested lots again and shoulder doing WAY better! Not using it at all. Tomorrow I'll start exercises CAREFULLY and not moving it the way that hurts it. Thanks for the well wishes and Prayers! You guys are all AWESOME!

Hope you all have a good night and good hunting etc!
Later Gators, Heather

__________________
Home of the BIGCASTLEDAWGS
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i71/BIGCASTLEDAWGS/Websters%20First%20coon/IMG_0045.jpg

Good morning gang.
70 here.
Vabluegal things are good here. Been hitting the woods pretty hard due to all this cool weather. Were going to haft to get together soon for a drop are two. Picked up some nice private land in between us. Lots of cornfields and easy walking. Treed at least two each night i've been there and ant hunted a quarter of it.
Rob how you any hair left? Lol I no I would have pulled all mine out by now. I seen where she had only two females and I believe four males. Hopefully i'll have you a female this winter when my female comes in. I just want a male pup off of my jet dog. So my fingers are cross she comes in soon.
Corky sounds like you'll have a busy weekend. Thats alot of running.
Still no shannon? Hoping things are alright.

Well time to head off to work hate these early days. But off Friday threw monday. Anyone going to AO from here? And a pick on the finally four? Mybe the year for a blue dog!!!!
Prayers for all and a happy hump day.

__________________
Shawn Abshire

Home of: My Blues!!
Males
Ch `PR` Turkey Creek Wallaces Luke.
' PR' Midnight Blue Haze.
Females
' PR' Big River Midnight Alibi
' PR' Bennett's Hilltop Blue Sammie

Morning y'all! Hope all is well prayers sent to those n need! Thanks 2 everyone for there prayers!

Shawn yea we do need to get together an go one nite ain't been for a good while now got to get the girls n shape!

Corky we doin fairly well got a good bit of canning to try to get dun this week peaches an applebutter!

James good jokes I needed a cple good laughs!!

Bond hope didn't hurt truck to bad! U fry her up?

Heather glad shoulder is doin better take it easy!!

Hope everyone has a good day!!

Good morning everyone !!
I'm still alive .. I've been sick.. But I'm feeling better.. Been busy, trying to work 2 jobs..finish school ..( 4 more chapters to go, then internship for 6 months) and trying to keep up with Children and grands.. Lindz is in college now, I hardly ever see her, she's at work by 5:45 a.m gets off at 3:30 then off to school until 9:00 . She's an amazing girl.. I'm trying to keep the girls away from Christian !!!!!! Lol.. I told him .. Girls are nothing but trouble !!!!!! just stick to baseball it'll treat you better !! he's loving the 7th grade !!

Thank you all, for the pm to check on me.. Means a lot !!
Especially from corky !!!! Do not know what I'd do with out you my friend!

I'll check in soon ..!!
Y'all be sweet !!!

James .... Way to funny !!!!! I hope I win the lottery !!! Hahahahahahahahah ..

__________________
"Pr" Moonlight Anna R.I.P.-
(you were a world class champion to me !)

SHOW CH ' Rays Moonlight Anna's Dream.. MOLLY
FCH CH' PR' Ray's Moonlight Anna's Dream..MOLLY
"Pr" Hannah Ruth's saving angel .... Roo

My heart WILL FOREVER BELONG to my Blueticks..

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end..... JER. 29:11

quote:

---

Originally posted by Moonlightanna
Good morning everyone !!
I'm still alive .. I've been sick..

---

__________________
James Lawrence, Big Slough Kennels

Good morning everyone
67 Here and raining.
Shannon
Hope you feel better.
James
I would say she has red dog itis. Lol.
Vabluegal
canned peaches sound good.
Shawn
Yes I prefer females to hunt, just had better luck with them. I have had a few good males, but the two favorites were females. I would also like one to show good so my youngest could start to show. I really wanted one out of the Smokey dog. Good friend of mine just picked up two beautiful pups out of medicine man in Ohio. You should see them.

One more episode of Hatfields and McCoys to watch.
Prayers sent.
Have a good day.

__________________
Home of;

Nt.Ch. Gr.Ch. Gr.WCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Crystal
Ntch. GrCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Magic
Gr.Nt.Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Hawk
Nt. Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Rage
all are gone now but will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN


CH. PR. MCMILLANS TREE ROCKIN BRANDY
CH. PR. MCMILLANS MIDNITES STINGIN SADIE

quote:

---

Originally posted by rmcmillan
Good morning everyone
67 Here and raining.
Shannon
Hope you feel better.
James
I would say she has red dog itis. Lol.
Vabluegal
canned peaches sound good.
Shawn
Yes I prefer females to hunt, just had better luck with them. I have had a few good males, but the two favorites were females. I would also like one to show good so my youngest could start to show. I really wanted one out of the Smokey dog. Good friend of mine just picked up two beautiful pups out of medicine man in Ohio. You should see them.

One more episode of Hatfields and McCoys to watch.
Prayers sent.
Have a good day.

---

__________________
"Pr" Moonlight Anna R.I.P.-
(you were a world class champion to me !)

SHOW CH ' Rays Moonlight Anna's Dream.. MOLLY
FCH CH' PR' Ray's Moonlight Anna's Dream..MOLLY
"Pr" Hannah Ruth's saving angel .... Roo

My heart WILL FOREVER BELONG to my Blueticks..

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end..... JER. 29:11

A good night would be a hunt with Blueticks , coming home to dads huge barn fire with his homemade blackberry and listening to ole John on the stereo...
Geeee this guy can sure play .. Love this kind of music !!! I'm a music lover that's for sure ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32GZ3suxRn4&sns=em

__________________
"Pr" Moonlight Anna R.I.P.-
(you were a world class champion to me !)

SHOW CH ' Rays Moonlight Anna's Dream.. MOLLY
FCH CH' PR' Ray's Moonlight Anna's Dream..MOLLY
"Pr" Hannah Ruth's saving angel .... Roo

My heart WILL FOREVER BELONG to my Blueticks..

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end..... JER. 29:11

Morning all,
Shannon glad you made it back. Too many red solo cups over the weekend.lol.

I spent yesterday evening taking pictures of the pups. Well when I got inside to show my wife the picutres of the female she wants to keep did not come through. I was really wanting to keep a male but since I am fairly new at this alot of people like females better so I might just keep her. My wife said it was a sign that no one else should see her.
will get some posted they are only the english classifieds.

Thanks for all the prayer. It is greatly appreciated.

Rainy here this morning I hope everyone has a good day.

Prayers to all in need

__________________
Michael Armes
Angle Plantation Kennels
540-598-0173
Home of

PR CH Big Blue Buster HTX
PR CH Angle Plantation's Red Jasper

Let's get Ticked

Pt.. I'm praying .. And no red nor blue solo cups for me..
I've always heard females are better coon dogs .. Keep her !!

__________________
"Pr" Moonlight Anna R.I.P.-
(you were a world class champion to me !)

SHOW CH ' Rays Moonlight Anna's Dream.. MOLLY
FCH CH' PR' Ray's Moonlight Anna's Dream..MOLLY
"Pr" Hannah Ruth's saving angel .... Roo

My heart WILL FOREVER BELONG to my Blueticks..

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end..... JER. 29:11

Well my o my look who's alive. Lol Shannon I no all about that long neck flu had it a few times myself. All joking aside hope ya feel better.I was getting worried about you. Didn't have anyone to pick on.
Mike you like my little video. He is a pretty intense hound.
Rob I feel for ya buddy. Watching tv all day would kill me.
Well going to finish up real quick and head home. Raining here.

__________________
Shawn Abshire

Home of: My Blues!!
Males
Ch `PR` Turkey Creek Wallaces Luke.
' PR' Midnight Blue Haze.
Females
' PR' Big River Midnight Alibi
' PR' Bennett's Hilltop Blue Sammie

Afternoon
Shannon
a good hunt with bluedogs will cure ya. Lol. Where are the red devils at anyhow.
Shawn
Yes very sick of tv. I could have a million channels withnothing on.
Mike
keep the female. Train em both.

__________________
Home of;

Nt.Ch. Gr.Ch. Gr.WCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Crystal
Ntch. GrCh. Pr. McMillans Blue Magic
Gr.Nt.Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Hawk
Nt. Ch. Pr. McMillans Blue Rage
all are gone now but will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN


CH. PR. MCMILLANS TREE ROCKIN BRANDY
CH. PR. MCMILLANS MIDNITES STINGIN SADIE

Shwan,
Is a nice looking hound. since all the red guys are at AO I will say if I ever went to anythign else I think it woul dbe a red dog.

I have made up my mind today to keep the female the wife wants. Now I have to talk her into showing it.
This will be my first time raising one from a pup. My male was started when I got him and my female was already a show champion and been trying to work with her to get her hunting.
Hoping to push it in hunts and in shows.
might have to hire Corky as my handler in the shows and WB for the hunts.lol

We will see how this endevour goes.

Every one take care and have a nice day.

__________________
Michael Armes
Angle Plantation Kennels
540-598-0173
Home of

PR CH Big Blue Buster HTX
PR CH Angle Plantation's Red Jasper

Let's get Ticked