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-- New edition of "You Know Your A Redneck" (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=97432)

New edition of "You Know Your A Redneck"

Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...

"You know you're a redneck when......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.



2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.


3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.



4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized

because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say

"Cool Whip" on the side.

4. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

7. A tornado hits your neighborhood

and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation

because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.


The sad but true part is I fit quite a few of these, LOL

__________________
Michael Marcum
903-928-2992
I judge dogs to my interpertation of the breed standards, not who is behind / owns the dog.

btt

__________________
Michael Marcum
903-928-2992
I judge dogs to my interpertation of the breed standards, not who is behind / owns the dog.

you might be a redneck if

you go coonhunting in the winter in canada (no offence Canadians) without a shirt on , flying in 6th gear in a racing bike!

you carry your coonhunting belt to location oil rigs!

your favorite food is over fried bobcat--(thats nasty, only true rednecks eat this ****)

__________________
Timber / Southern Kennels

Home of the Only

GrFch GrNiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Traveller

NiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Cutter

and

'Pr' Sam's Southern
Dixie Chick

Owner: Sammy Cottrell

Reputation: Big Time Trapper!!!

You have to take your back seat out to haul your calf home you just bought.

you bought a brand new dog box 15 years ago and nevr used it. u only used your beat up camo one!

__________________
Timber / Southern Kennels

Home of the Only

GrFch GrNiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Traveller

NiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Cutter

and

'Pr' Sam's Southern
Dixie Chick

Owner: Sammy Cottrell

Reputation: Big Time Trapper!!!

I think I fit most of these

__________________
Keep looking up!
Doug

Home of the Roamin Kennels
PR' Lawyers Roamin Locktight Lucky (Plott)
PR' Lawyer's Atchafalaya Queen (Bluetick) RIP
PR' Lawyer's Roamin Cazadora "Cassie" (Walker) RIP

Wowo I fit an awful lot of them..lol

__________________
Curtis Beyer
Camden Beyer

616-262-2785
Twin Oaks Kennels
SPIKE BEYER, HIS LEGACY LIVES ON!
PR' Twin Oak's CrossCut BoZo R.I.P.
Twin Oak's NextGen. Jewel
**TEAM TIMBER**
COONDOG UP*ENGLISH STYLE*
CoonDog Mafia

You use a ratchet strap to straighten a tree

You have a recliner by the Bon fire pit

__________________
Curtis Beyer
Camden Beyer

616-262-2785
Twin Oaks Kennels
SPIKE BEYER, HIS LEGACY LIVES ON!
PR' Twin Oak's CrossCut BoZo R.I.P.
Twin Oak's NextGen. Jewel
**TEAM TIMBER**
COONDOG UP*ENGLISH STYLE*
CoonDog Mafia

oh boy

guess that makes me a redneck yankee. I fit quite a few of those. Toilet brushes are great for more then just scratching backs too. Make great hairbrushes if your drunk enuff & BenGay ain't good to brush your teeth with neither! I can state that as a fact! JD & Coke does wonders for a person, makes ya eat things & use stuff you'd never dream of doing sober!

__________________
American Leopard Hound
FNL Hanselman's Blu Pixie Dust

mmarcum52

It is funny, Some of those on the list actually fit all of us

__________________
NITECH CH 'Pr' Bear Creek Coon Crazy Kacey...I miss you!



"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those who want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!


Owner/Handler: Stephanie J. Dowd

I like them

they are funny.

__________________
Vera, Nicole & Patrick Bergbauer proud US Airman
765-499-3061
Diamond Ridge Kennels
ACHA WSHOWCH PKC WSHOWCH BCH AKC WSHOWCH CH
UKC FCH NGRCH WSHOWCH GRCH CGRCH'PR' Diamond Ridge Queen of Diamonds
UKC Hall of Fame
2008 UKC World Show Champion
2008 AKC World Show Champion
2008 ACHA World Show Champion
2006 PKC World Show Champion
2008 National Grand Champion
2007 National Grand Breed Winner
Conformation Grand Champion
Field Champion
2009 World All Around Overall Dog
PKC BCH UKC CCH CH'PR'Diamond Ridge Tripple Threat Jazz
2007 AO Overall Champion of Champion Female
2008 Overall Winter Classic Show Champion
2009 TWBFA Champion of Champion Female
And home of some Queenie puppies
'PR'DIAMOND RIDGE NATIONAL TREASURE AKA NASH
English Youth Waterrace Reg winner Line and Tree
'PR'DIAMOND RIDGE JACK OF DIAMONDS AKA JACK
2011 Kids World All Around BMOS
2011 World All Around BMOS and Overall Show Champion
NKC CH UKC CH'PR'DIAMOND RIDGE ROYAL PRINCESS AKA BRIE
2011 TWBFA Best Female of Show
2011 World All Around BFOS and Opp Sex winnwe
2011 World All Around Overall Grand Final Line Field Trial

http://diamondridge.tripod.com
WHERE BEAUTY AND BRAINS ARE ONE AND THE SAME
765-499-3061 Vera

Re: New edition of "You Know Your A Redneck"

quote:

---

Originally posted by mmarcum52
Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...

"You know you're a redneck when......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

---

__________________
When the tailgate drops, the B.S. stops!!!

'PR' Gleason's Sweetie-- 5 coons under the belt

LOL!!! !

I thought everybody had flea and tick shampoo in their shower! Didnt Ya'll???

__________________
CH PR' Hardup's Dark Blue Sky
PR' Hardup's If It Aint Dixie...
PR' Dodge 'Em's Reckless Endangerment
PR' Dodge 'Em's Fame & Fortune

your a redneck, if you take a limo ride to the wal-mart to have prom photos made.

Yeah I also thought everyone had Flea and Tick shampoo in the shower LOL
We do....cause that is where the house dogs get a bath.

I got one too... If you know exactly how many coondogs you can get to the clubhouse in your CAR (and i mean a 91 mercury sable) I only had to take 2 to the show, but could have fit a few more if I had to LOL
The things I can come up with when the husband is out of town with the truck LOL

__________________
Steele Farm Aussies and Hounds

CH Hayseed's Sweet Talkin Sadie
Steele Farm Marly
Steele Farm Tucker

PR Mitchell's Whiskey In a Jar
May 14,2006 - Feb 13,2010

Most Hounds In A Car

I fit three in a Chevy Cavalier once.

Also, if the mud tires on your truck are bigger than your five year old...YMBARN.

Here's my own:

You know your a redneck when your coondog has more degrees hanging on the wall than you do

__________________
MILLENNIUM MAGIC PLOTTS
TEAM BRINDLE THUNDER!
GrNtCh PKC CH Millennium Magic Gravedigger
2005 Plott Days Champion, 2 time Isiaiah Kidd Award Winner
GrNtCh Millenium Magic Doc's Heyzuess
2013 Ntl GrNtCh Plott Breed Winner

you redneck if you carry a 4x4 when the in-laws arrive

your idea of "home" is a tree stand in the woods


i fit most of these

__________________
Timber / Southern Kennels

Home of the Only

GrFch GrNiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Traveller

NiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Cutter

and

'Pr' Sam's Southern
Dixie Chick

Owner: Sammy Cottrell

Reputation: Big Time Trapper!!!

On my last visit to my sister's house we got into the discussion of how much she smokes.....I mean she is the kinda girl that lights one off of the one going out. Well, I came up with this one...

You might be a redneck if your shower soap dish doubles as an ashtray.

I am sure she smokes in the shower........

__________________
Tim Green
Retired Air Force 24+ years
Disabled Veteran

you are NOT a redneck if:

you dont believe duct tape cant solve any problem


you say cut the fat off of the pork chops



you say wal-mart aint got that



you use correct english.



i got these off of a little piece of paper if u want to here more.




you have to be a firm believer in wal-mart to be a redneck! oh abd duct tape as well.

__________________
Timber / Southern Kennels

Home of the Only

GrFch GrNiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Traveller

NiteCh GrCh 'Pr' Cal's Timber Cutter

and

'Pr' Sam's Southern
Dixie Chick

Owner: Sammy Cottrell

Reputation: Big Time Trapper!!!

Re: New edition of "You Know Your A Redneck"

quote:

---

Originally posted by mmarcum52



8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

---

__________________
Tyler Stevens

Some people just CANT handle the TRUTH

Dual Ch 'PR' Cole & Stevens Carolina FUDGE
NiteCH 'PR' Carolina Curt The Crow

If on a hot day you and your coondog share a kiddie pool........... Wish I'd got a picture.

__________________
Jessica McRae
3 Color Kennel
Treeing Walker Coonhounds and German Shepherd Dogs

You might be a redneck if:

A tornadoe goes through your town and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.

Allen

__________________
Dr. Allen Hallada (Doc Halladay)

Current:

PKC Ch. Gr.Nt.Ch. Cat Scratch Fever
(Gr.Nt.Ch. PKC Ch. Moonlight Aftershock x Gr.Nt.Ch. PKC Ch. Moonlight Outlaw Breanna)
2016 Finished to PKC Ch. in one week!

Dual Grand Champion CHKC Ch., PKC Gold Ch. All Grand Outlaw G-Man
(Gr.Nt.Ch.Glissens JJ Jr. x Gr.Nt.Ch. Outlaw Billy Jean)
4 Generations of All Grand Nite Champions!
Timber Jack 3X and Timber Chopper over 30X
2019 Southern National Redbone Days Champion
2016 National Grand Nite Champion Redbone
2016 CHKC Redbone Days Champion
2016 PKC Super Stakes Reserve Champion
2016 CHKC Elite Shootout Winner - Texas
CHKC All Time Money Winning Redbone

Bodacious
(Gr.Nt.Ch. Gr.Ch.PKC. Gold Ch.CHKC CH. Outlaw G-Man x Gr.Nt.Ch.Gr.Ch. CHKC Ch., PKC Gold Ch. Classy Cali)


Past:
Gr.Nt.Ch.Ch. Dawns Timber Jack
1988 American Redbone Days All Red Hunt Winner
1989 UKC World Champion Redbone
1989 Purina Outstanding Redbone Coonhound
#2 Historic Redbone Sire/ Top 20 All Breeds
American Redbone Coonhound Assoc. Hall of Fame

Gr.Nt.Ch. Bussrow Bottom Brandy II
1991 American Redbone Days Champion
1992 AKC World Champion Redbone
1992 ACHA World Champion Redbone
1992 Wisconsin State Champion
1994 US Redbone Days Opposite Sex
Produced 2 Nt. Ch. , 1 Gr.Nt.Ch. out of 2 litters and two Redbone Days Winners

Gr.Nt.Ch.Gr.Ch. PKC Gold Ch. Layton's Classy Cali
2012 UKC World Champion Redbone and 7th Place Overall
2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 UKC World Champion Redbone Female
2015 PKC Blue Ribbon Pro Hunt Winner - Goodsprings, AL
2015 PKC Blue Ribbon Pro Series Race - 3rd Place Overall
2016 PKC Blue Ribbon Pro Hunt Winner - New Albany, MS
2016 PKC Texas State Race Winner
2016 PKC Redbone Breed Race Winner
PKC All Time Money Winning Redbone

PKC Ch. Gr.Nt.Ch. Coffman's Smokin Red Buck
2016 UKC World Hunt 5th Place and World Champion Redbone
2016 National Redbone Days Overall Winner

Gr.Nt.Ch. Reinhart's Central Page
(Gr.Nt.Ch. Timber Jack x Gr.Nt.Ch. Brandy II)

Gr.Nt.Ch. Too the Maxx
(Gr.Nt.Ch. Timber Jack x Gr.Nt.Ch. Jenkins Crying Katie)
1992 National Redbone Days Champion

Gr.Ch.Nt.Ch. Ambraw River Rock
(Gr.Nt.Ch. Timber Jack x Gr.Ch.Nt.Ch. Hersh's Huntin Red Kate)
1992 US Redbone Days Opposite Sex

Nt.Ch. Tree Bustin Annabelle
1986 American Redbone Days All Red Hunt Winner

Nt.Ch. Timber Mace
(Gr.Nt.Ch. Timber Jack X Nt.Ch. Tree Bustin Annabelle)
Mother of Gr.Nt.Ch. Babb's Hazel

Nt. Ch. Timber Shock
(Gr.Nt.Ch.Timber Jack x Gr.Nt.Ch. Outlaw Jessie)

Gr. Ch. Nt. Ch. Squaw Mountain Goldie
(Direct Daughter of Gr.Nt.Ch.Smokey Mountain Brandy)
1990 Autumn Oaks Best of Show Winner
1988 Indiana State Champion

ive did half of those soo doe sthat make me a bad person LOL

__________________
CopperHead Kennels
Gauley Bridge,Wv
Chris Neff
Home (304) 632-5029
Cell(304) 651-5973

Re: New edition of "You Know Your A Redneck"

quote:

---

Originally posted by mmarcum52
Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...

"You know you're a redneck when......

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
{dont have tha ablity to do that {but ive puchd my bro into doin that and he thought it was!!}}

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. You can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized

because your father made it.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say

"Cool Whip" on the side.
YEEHAW

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.


The sad but true part is I fit quite a few of these, LOL

---

quote:

---

you are NOT a redneck if:

you dont believe duct tape cant solve any problem

you say cut the fat off of the pork chops

you say wal-mart aint got that

you use correct english.

i got these off of a little piece of paper if u want to here more.

you have to be a firm believer in wal-mart to be a redneck! oh abd duct tape as well.

---

__________________
FORD
found on rednecks driveways!!
if ur boyfriend aint a redneck get rid of em!!! bc u can teach a redneck to coonhunt!! {if he dont already}
english