UKC Forums - Coon Hunting Jokes!!! Share Yours!

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-- Coon Hunting Jokes!!! Share Yours! (http://forums.ukcdogs.com/showthread.php?threadid=928284965)

Posted by Lonnie_y2002 on 11-28-2012 05:51 AM:

Coon Hunting Jokes!!! Share Yours!

A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it's a pet.
She asks , "Where are you going to keep it?"
He repies , "In the bedroom."
"But what about that horrible nasty smell?' , she asks.
"I got used to you , I'm sure he will too!"

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Posted by chaz2012 on 11-28-2012 07:07 AM:

knock knock
whos there
ra
ra who
racoon thats who lol

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Posted by C. Beyer on 11-28-2012 02:06 PM:

first of all I want you to know that I come from Liberty Mississippi......

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Posted by Lonnie_y2002 on 11-28-2012 02:58 PM:

Not a joke, but one helluva story!!!!

http://www.realtree.com/hunting/art...-hunting-friend

Posted by Lonnie_y2002 on 11-28-2012 03:04 PM:

Two men go hunting. Bill has never gone hunting while Bob has hunted all his life. When they get to the woods, Bob tells Bill to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Bob checks out a deer stand.

After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Bob hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Bill and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"

Bill says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two squirrels crawled up my pants leg and one of them said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

Posted by C. Beyer on 11-28-2012 11:04 PM:

@lonnie, thats funny

Posted by kayapellijed390 on 11-29-2012 12:12 AM:

I used to have one heck of a coondog. Everynight I would show him a fur stretcher and the next morning there would be a dead coon laying on the back porch. The dog was so smart if I showed him a small stretcher he would bring me a small coon. If I showed him a large stretcher he would bring me a big 'ol boar coon. Everything was fine and dandy till one afternoon when mom was cleaning out the laundry room and she set the ironing board out on the porch. I haven't seen my dog ever since.

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Posted by englishpride on 11-29-2012 12:41 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by C. Beyer
@lonnie, thats funny

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Posted by GA DAWG on 11-29-2012 07:03 PM:

WORLD CHAMPION bluetick...

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Posted by kayapellijed390 on 11-29-2012 07:20 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by GA DAWG
WORLD CHAMPION bluetick...

OUCH!!! Funny but ouch!

Posted by blackflagginit on 11-29-2012 10:34 PM:

How to Stop a WLD NTCH

(practical joke played on the infamous Willie Hankins in the 80s)

after a hunt in clinton mo in the 80s, a few guys got to go out and hunt w the infamous Willie Hankins and the dog he had just finished 4th i believe in the UKC WLD NT HUNT..

I cant remember the rest of the dogs that were cast, but it seems like the other clinton outlaw, Chickenman, was in there.

1st drop...willies dog was struck and treed before the other dogs even opened. coon seen

2nd drop...willies dog agian struck and treed before the others even opened. coon seen.

3rd drop, repeat of the first 2...willie says (known to bragg a bit ).."boys thats how a wld ch does it

4th drop, other dogs strike, run a bad track, tree, coon seen. not a peep from willies. recast in the same spot, another coon seen. guys go back to the truck and find willies dog eating the finest bucked of KFC chicken that had been dropped by the passengers tire (side that dog HAD to ride in).

Chickenman says (seems like he was the culprit anyway) "willie, thats how you STOP a wld ch"

Posted by wildeyed on 11-30-2012 12:51 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by GA DAWG
WORLD CHAMPION bluetick...

. If you ever get down this way, bring the Best you got and holler at me...... Got a lil somthin for ya.

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Posted by cody jaster on 11-30-2012 02:33 AM:

Joke was on him! Hunted with a man back in the mid80's that like to coon hunt after he'd had a Few to drink. He had just bought o brand new box light from Cajun lights and he was so proud. We went huntin and he always brought about 5 BIG unruly dogs with him that couldn't lead worth a dang. We cut ALL his loose and my one and down into the river bottom they went. Directly they got Treed and it was really rough where the were too. Saw briars, grapevines...I mean rough! We get to the dogs and no way could see the top of the tree for all the underbrush. I caught my dog and he starts rounding up his 5. We started out of the woods and he's getting tangled up in every braid there was down there and the dogs werent behaving at all. I hear him cussing at his dogs and thrashing around in the briars then his brand new light went out. I hollered at him to see what happened and he said," the **** briars were so thick he was cutting them with his pocket knife and cut the cord of his light in the process. That poor guy had to lead all five walkers about a mile through that brush, drunk, with no light. That broke him from drinking and coonhunting.

Posted by skeets on 11-30-2012 07:28 AM:

lol thats funny cody.

Posted by Matt McKinney on 11-30-2012 10:42 PM:

HAHA!!!!!!!!! Thats awesome.

quote:
Originally posted by cody jaster
Joke was on him! Hunted with a man back in the mid80's that like to coon hunt after he'd had a Few to drink. He had just bought o brand new box light from Cajun lights and he was so proud. We went huntin and he always brought about 5 BIG unruly dogs with him that couldn't lead worth a dang. We cut ALL his loose and my one and down into the river bottom they went. Directly they got Treed and it was really rough where the were too. Saw briars, grapevines...I mean rough! We get to the dogs and no way could see the top of the tree for all the underbrush. I caught my dog and he starts rounding up his 5. We started out of the woods and he's getting tangled up in every braid there was down there and the dogs werent behaving at all. I hear him cussing at his dogs and thrashing around in the briars then his brand new light went out. I hollered at him to see what happened and he said," the **** briars were so thick he was cutting them with his pocket knife and cut the cord of his light in the process. That poor guy had to lead all five walkers about a mile through that brush, drunk, with no light. That broke him from drinking and coonhunting.

Posted by Billy J. Lovell on 12-01-2012 10:01 AM:

My dog is 90% accurate.......

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Posted by blackflagginit on 12-01-2012 08:09 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by Billy J. Lovell
My dog is 90% accurate.......

Ive shot dogs that couldnt break 75% in accuracy. I refuse to walk to slick trees

the last hound i hauled to hunts missed exactly 3 trees in 4 years..........while being hunted 350+ nights a year.

Posted by garminguru on 12-02-2012 04:37 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by blackflagginit
Ive shot dogs that couldnt break 75% in accuracy. I refuse to walk to slick trees

the last hound i hauled to hunts missed exactly 3 trees in 4 years..........while being hunted 350+ nights a year.

How many times did it pull up treed, 4?

Posted by kayapellijed390 on 12-02-2012 04:45 AM:

I feel sorry for people who don't believe a 90%+ accurate dog exists. By the way my definition of accurate is you will either see a coon or a legitimate den hole. But the funny thing about these super accurate hounds is they very rarely show you a den. Come for a hunt next fall when the leaves are off and I will prove my point. I would take you this year but my dog is laying next to the couch with a cast on his leg and a plastic cone around his head.

Posted by Lonnie_y2002 on 12-02-2012 03:50 PM:

Two guys were huntin and got lost. One of the guys said shoot 3 times in the air and see if anyone shoots back.The guy shoot 3 times in the air,but there was no answer. They hiked on and 2 hours later they shoot 3 more times with no answer. In 2 more hours the 1st guy said shoot again. The other guy said ok but I only have 1 more arrow left.

Posted by JustinH23 on 12-03-2012 04:02 PM:

Not about coon hunting but still funny

Bob had a really good beagle. He could flat run a rabbit and brought it right towards you every time. One day his neighbor heard him bragging about his dog and how good he was. So, he decided to tag along. The big day came for the hunt and they cut the beagle loose, struck a rabbit and ran it right to them. The neighbor said, that might be a fluke, lets try again. So they cut him into a second field and sure enough, strikes a rabbit and runs him right to them. Bob decides to move to yet another field. The beagle is again cut loose, and after 15 minutes comes running back with a stick in his mouth. The beagle starts humping the neighbors leg. The neighbor turns to Bob and says, "whats this all about?". Bob says, "He's trying to tell you there's more F&#*&(% rabbits than you can shake a stick at out there"

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Posted by Dan D. on 12-03-2012 05:50 PM:

for sale

fellas lookin to buy a coondog. sees an ad in the paper coondog for sale so he calls the number and sets up a hunt. he arrives at the fellas house and he comes out with a redbone male. they turn the dog loose and he strikes and trees. fella lookin at the dog says is he treed guy says yep lets go. they just about get to the tree and the dog leaves. fella says whats goin on owner says not sure but i know about where he was treed lets go look. they get in the area he says sure enuf this is where he was treed. fella tryin the dog says how can ya tell the owner says there is one stick stuck in the ground that means there is one coon in the tree. ya right the guy says but sure enuf they look one coon is seen. this happens time and again dog would tree they would just about get to him and he would leave. they would look in the area find the tree and there would be 1, 2,3 sticks stuck in the ground dependin on how many coon were in the tree. the guy was amazed. finally the last track the dog trees it takes them forever to get to him but he trees solid the whole time. when the dog sees them comin he grabs a stick in his mouth and starts shakin it and stick his own tail in his rearend. the fella tryin the dog says what is he doin now, owner says he sayin theres more coon in this tree than you can shake a stick at but it took us so long to get here they all went in a hole. lol

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Posted by JimmySeward on 01-01-2013 11:03 PM:

coonhunting

jerry clower has all yall beat with his 2 stories the coonhunting story and the coonhunting monkey i laugh when i heard those 2 when i was a kid now thats a coonhunting adventure

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Posted by Nova70 on 10-23-2013 03:25 PM:

btt

Posted by mhardy on 10-23-2013 04:54 PM:

man has a coon dog for sale and it had no legs.so a man comes to see how this works and tries the dog out.the owner has the dog in a wheel barrow and says just roll him through the woods when he barks he will turn his head in the direction of the coon and you just roll him that way.when he barks treed stop and look up the tree he is looking up.so the owner rolls him through the woods and the dog barks and he rolls him the way the dog looks and when the dog treed he stopped and looked up the tree and there sat a coon.the buyer said i want to see this again.so off they went and the same thing happened and there sat a coon.the buyer said i want to roll him and see if he will do the same thing for me.so the owner said go ahead and i`ll wait here for you.so off they went and the owner heard the dog strike and go out of hearing.the man trying the dog returned in about an hour with his clothes torn to sheds and the owner asked what happened.the man trying the dog said ole blue struck a deer and i liked to never got him off it.

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